beginning again
by booth258
Summary: This is a Crossover between Buffy and the OC, it takes place in mid season one of both shows, Jimmy and Kirsten have a daughter which is why they broke up,she is adopted and her name is buffy.
1. Chapter 1

Ch.1 The picture

I sat in front of my vanity mirror, my father had bought it for me before my parents had divorced and I'd brought it to sunnydale, I used to sit in front of it in L.A. and go on and on, gossiping about boys and other people, cruel things I'd say. I was worse than cordelia had ever thought about being then and I'd thought I was the most beautiful woman in the world, I guess being the slayer brought me down to earth, I could see everything around me clearer and a part of me was more happy because I was the slayer, but there was that part that wanted nornalcy back and couldn't get it, but I would've never befriended willow and Xander with the way I'd been before, they would be the joke I'd be adament about talking about to my friends, and I'd recalled doing the most terribly ambarrassing things to geeks, cordelia and Harmony were tame compared to me and my friends in L.A., sometimes I felt ashamed to look back and think about how I'd been, like the world revolved around me and just me, I could be petty and cruel now, but it wasn't nothing like before, I'd grown up quite a bit and I was proud to be friends with willow and Xander..and Even Giles was growing on me, he wasn't as stuffy as he'd been at the beginning of the year.

But things were changing, I could tell. I was changing. I wasn't the same careless and cruel girl I was before, I cared. I tried to help people I didn't even know and at the end of the day I had a peaceful feeling inside of me but a part of me would give it up in an instant if it meant I could have dates and normal relationships, a real teenagers' life, I'd take back everything I ever did at henry if that was so, but it wasn't. giles had told me some time ago that it made no since wishing and hoping for something that was long gone..to giles", I was the slayer", Case closed. But what he didn't understand, none of them understood it. I wasn't just some tool, some robot to do the councils bidding and a fighter born to save the world, I was a real living and breathing human being and this was my life. But there was one thing to be happy about, it was christmas break, which meant my father would make an appearance or atleast send a gift picked out by his secretary, I knew it wasn't he who chose the gifts he sent, it was too obvious and impersonal, sometimes it hurt my feelings but Iet it go knowing that he was a busy man, even though I knew that it was he who cheated on mom and not the other way around, a part of me despised me because of that. but I'd been seeing even less of him. mom told me just the other day that he is marrying is secretary, how conveniant..I muttered to myself with annoyance, but being home and not in school was a good thing and my mother usually knew how to pick out the best gifts, she'd even thought to invite giles and Xander, willow wasn't celebrating christmas, her parents were against it, she'd told me that afew days ago, I wandered if Xander really would do the snoopy Dance, I'd just thought it had been a figure of speech", I was wrong. I wanted to invite angel, even though weren't a couple, but I didn't know how to invite him, what did I say. he's a vampire and I"m inviting him to christmas dinner? that would sound terrible. and then if angel slipped up and said that night he'd slept here and I hadn't sent him away, it wouldn't matter that he'd been a perfect gentleman and slept on the floor", moms read into stuff like that, they saw a deeper meaning. she'd be out of her mind. "I could get myself grounded", I'm sure even if I invited my friend he wouldn't show up, we had a kind of love-hate thing going on, just the thought of real sparks made me sick. he was too irritating and speachy for that. I thought with disgust

As I stared around at my empty walls, I needed a change. maybe I'd listen to a different kind of music or put up dark rock posters instead of hiding everything dark and secretive in a large box with girl stuff, to fool my mother and anybody who saw it, it was like a safe and underneath it was holywater,stakes,crosses..Etc. everything needed to kill vampires or even demons, giles had said that I might have to fight demons as well, I'd never fought a demon before. "Wasn't I a vampire slayer"? He'd tried to explain to me it was my job to fight everything that went against good, Everything supernatural that was a bad omen or tried to end the world.."My", that was a turn on"..I thought with a sour taste in my mouth as I decided not to redecorate, my mother would lose it, just give her another reason to study her parenting books, she'd think I'd went over the edge or even turned to witchcraft. and making my mother happy was something I was prepared to do, afterall, I kinda owed that to her since the reason we had to move and start all over was my fault, I did feel bad about it. and my mother hadn't been giving me trouble about it so she must've known I felt bad.

I could hear the door downstairs open and shut and my mother had gotten back from the gallerie, I must've slept in, I thought. I then grabbed my robe and found myself walking down the stairs, but mom didn't turn my way or even give me a hard time for waking up so late in the afternoon, she seemed like there was something bothering her, she'd been like this acouple of weeks now, like she was thinking about something that hurt her or a sad memory that put her in a bad mood, I didn't know what to say or do? but I did for the first time ask her what was wrong and if it was me.

She looked at me with the oddest look at first, as if she'd never seen me before and I was a complete stranger, I didn't know what to think. She'd never gotten that busy with her work that she forgot about her own daughter, that was silly talk. but why had she looked at me like that, like I was a stranger in my own house and she didn't know who I was or even why I was there, I didn't know how to talk to her after that, was I just supposed to forgot the way she looked at me. "Was that something you forget",really? I thought, pondering what my next move should be but she made it for me, as she turned away hiding her face towards the refrigerator sliding out some iced tea she'd made this morning and pouring her a large glass of it.

"Buffy", I"m going to go back to the gallerie and work today. "You'll be fine here by yourself",right? she asked me again as if I was a stranger, with cool and nervous sound to her voice. I didn't know whether to just go along with it or demand what her problem was but I didn't do anything and she left, just like that. without explaining anything to me, without telling me why she'd treated me like I wasn't her daughter and just some kid who'd wandered in off of the streets, maybe she was right. maybe it had been a long day. maybe I really should give her a break, but my instincts told me it was more than that, and I couldn't let it go.

After that I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts, i didn't know what was going on and my mind was working overtime, I needed to talk to someone so I'd called Xander and willow and they'd agreed to come over, Xander made a joke about the cheesy chips he ate when he was around but I knew it was his way of saying he'd always come and willow, she was devoted to me. the best friends I could ask for, it hadn't been long and I let them in, they asked me question after question of how my mother had acted and I trusted them not to tell anybody, they were my friends.

sunlight beamed in and shined over my dark blonde hair making my eyes glisten like two shiny marbles as I stared back at them.

"Like she didn't know me", and the way she looked at me,Will. Something is going on. I 'd never ask you this but have you ever snooped, not to cruel and get in your parents personal stuff but because you think somthing has to do with you? I asked her not knowing whether I could go prying into my mothers' personal stuff, she'd warned me time after time that it was hers, not mine, like she really had something to hide, but she'd been right. it was as bad as stealing . but she wasn't telling me anything and I needed to know, this empty and cold feeling I felt inside. It was terrible.

"Will doesn't do that", but I have. when you have two drunks for parents and your younger, you run into things and sometimes it's fun to snoop. it's not all bad if there's something going on and it has to do with you..Xander told me as I could see the dissaproval in willow's eyes as she turned his way".

"I"m sure her mother will tell her the truth when she's ready to tell her", you shouldn't snoop in other peoples' things..Willow chimed in and I was on Xanders' side, I didn't want to know this way but it had been weeks and she'd ignored me and treated me as if I wasn't her daughter, she wasn't telling me anything, all she did was cry when she was alone and now I knew it had to do with me. I needed to know. I knew willow wouldn't understand because she'd never been in a jam like this, it was important and I wanted to help my mother, I wanted to know what was going on.

"I'll be on the lookout in case your mother comes back", but for the record. I'm not a part of this. Willow told everyone as she sat down on the couch as xander followed me back to my mothers' room, what I was doing felt wrong, very wrong. I knew that my mother would freak out if she knew what I was doing but I told myself that it was better for the both of us and she could stop crying and feeling so bad for something I had no clue about, but it still felt wrong, going through her things like she had no rights. but I was afraid of her news, something in my mind told me that I should let this storm pass, that I didn't want to know what her secret was, the way she'd looked at me. the way she'd talked to me. but sometimes finding the truth was just as powerful and needed as protecting the innocent and Being the chosen one..not that I could compare it. but it had been weeks. I had to do this. I convinced myself. but in the end, I knew that it was wrong.

Xander put in a some sun glasses, said he was coming in, incognito like he was an undercover hitman or whatever, he'd referred it to secret agent man, even though me and willow scoffed.

I could hear her out there warning me but I tried to shut her pleads and warnings off as if it was just a telephone ringing in the distance, I felt that if I found what I was looking for everything could go back to normal and mom wouldn't have to feel so sad, but she'd eventually find out that I'd went through her things and she'd be mad..Was it worth it? I told myself and at this moment, I did believe that it was. but in the end, I wouldn't agree. this was the beginning of a very messy problem..and I hadn't known it yet but mom had been keeping it a secret becausae she didn't know how to tell me.."But my question was "What"? I could understand anything..I told myself even though I knew that there were some things a person just couldn't understand, no matter how they tried but her secret couldn't be that bad. I told myself following xander inside where we were alone and willows warnings were behind us, and silence took over.

Seeing a dark wooden oak box I stepped in , in front of Xander who seemed against looking through my mothers' centimental belongings but I had to know what was going on, I had to know the truth, right now I wasn't thinking that the truth wouldn't set me free, it was me. and it would destroy everything, little did I know, this was a truth that wasn't going to go away, even if I waited for mom to explain everything to me.

I grabbed afew photos, I recalled mom saying that she didn't look bad in labor for a reason and that, that reason had to do with how much medication she'd been on at the time, so I didn't think nothing of how healthy she looked, but I saw another picture with a woman I'd never seen before, didn't even know. she was holding me and I wasn't even afew months old yet, she had light blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes, she was kind of pretty..but who was she? I wondered. she had to be just one of mom's friends.

I slid the pictures in my pocket and led Xander back into the kitchen where he decided that it was time he and willow left, he must've sensed that something was wrong and was going to give me the space I needed to deal with whatever these photos meant, so he quickly said goodbye as I turned to willow, I know she had been right but I wasn't going to admit it, not that she was a know it all or anything.

"Maybe tomorrow we can go to the bronze", their having a real cool dance competition and it would be fun..and we'll talk about whatever is going on tomorrow..Willow told me as she found her way out and I'd agreed to the bronze thinking it would be fun and it would make me stop wandering what was going on, but as soon as they were out of distance, I had the instant idea of going to the gallerie and speaking to my mother, showing her these pictures..Even asking her who the woman was in the picture..Maybe she would tell me the truth if I demanded it. she would", I told myself".

with the pictures in my pocket I rushed out in the darkness able to stake or fend off anything bad that got in my way in the dark as I made my way to my mother's work, to talk to her..To talk to her about something that would change my life forever and I hadn't known then just why my mother had kept this from me in the first place, I knew now.

I came closer to the familiar building in brick with a small sign in front that read "The Gallerie". as I stepped inside as most of the rooms were dark as I came to my mothers' opened door, she wasn't working, she was talking to somebody, a guy. I'd never seen him before and the way they talked and her body language, I knew that it wasn't business, they were having an arguement, so I stayed hidden outside, in the doorway, but she didn't turn. Didn't notice me. the guy had light brown hair and hazel eyes, for a grown man he wasn't quite bad looking and by the clothes he wore I could tell that ether he'd come from money or knew somebody that was rich..

"She's my daughter", Granted I just found out but that doesn't change the fact that she belongs with her family. I appreciate all that you've done for her. I'm sure you've been a good parent. but she's not your daughter. She belongs with her real parents, we can give her all that you can't. I've been lied to and decieved for almost sixteen years by my friends and the people closest to me, She belongs with me..I know you've done your best..I hope there's no hard feelings..I heard him say as I began to cling onto the door, without the wood of the door to hold me up, I would've callapsed then and there.

I ran, not being able to stop and take a breath as my body felt more heavy than it had ever been before, even when I'd been fending off evil. I ran hearing my mother yelling, screaming in the back ground at that man and now she was chasing me, she knew I'd been there watching, she knew I heard. and now she knew that I knew the truth..I wasn't the daughter of Joyce and Hank Summers..I was somebody elses child..I fell, slumped over in the grass as tears poured down my cheaks, I wanted to run so far away she would never get close to me, nobody would. but I ran and ran, picking myself off of the ground as the tears continued to flow as the cool breeze swayed my long dark blonde hair from side to side, rushing into the house I slid up the stairs, falling as I trembled to the top of the staircase rushing into my room, slamming the wooden door behind me as I pulled myself up onto my bed hearing the door slam downstiars, she was home. I pulled the pillow up over my head, trying to be in my own world and forget that what I saw meant nothing would ever be the same again, I didn't belong here and if this man of I presumed was my father got what he wanted.."I'd be leaving soon".

"Buffy"..Sweetheart"..Come talk to me. We can talk about this..I heard my mother call from downstiars", but I didn't reply. I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to believe that my whole life had been a lie, everything except being the slayer and I didn't want to talk to her, or anybody right now. I wasn't even sure if I was going to go to school tomorrow, and I definitely wasn't going to the bronze, I could hear her footsteps comiing closer, I didn't want her to come in and try to sweet talk me like it wasn't that big of a deal, she wasn't my mother, the man I'd thought was my father wasn't. and this house wasn't mine. this life wasn't mine. I just wanted to be alone, to think clearly. but clarity was a thing of the past, especially now.

the door opened and I tried to block her out even though she was now sitting on the bed right next to me, I could feel her tough stroking by soft blonde hair, her words telling me that I wasn't supposed to find out like that..and her lies..again her lies..Telling me that things would work out.."Everything will be alright", Buffy..she whispered over and over again, I didn't answer, didn't say anything. As if she truly wasn't in the room and I was alone. the real truth was nothing would be alright..I wasn't her daughter, I belonged to this man I didn't know. Maybe it was for the best I left..I thought in tears. but this was what I knew. "How could I live", I thought with bitter tears and fear, something I'd never known being powerful and the slayer..this weakness was new and right then at that moment, I knew that there were more awful things to happen than to be the slayer", the slayer was what made me different and for once I clinged onto it and feared my life and what was to become of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch.2 More to the story

It was morning, I must've drifted off into sleep and mom must've went back to her room because I didn't feel her on the bed with me anymore, but yawning, not making any notable sounds I pulled myself up into a sitting position seeing that she hadn't left, she was sitting a beanbag chair by the door holding a cherry oak box with what I supposed was pictures, but I wasn't going to take them and go through them, I'd learned my lesson. I was still learning my lesson. "I just didn't know that there was more to the story", this wasn't something I just "Dealt", with. I didn't know exactly what would happen, But I wasn't going to wake my mother up for a one on one discussion on how she'd lied to me and hid this from me my whole life, I knew that a part of me sounded rude and cold, but how was I supposed to act and feel? the Parents that I believed to be my real parents had lied to me my whole life, I didn't belong here with them, but I didn't want to leave. this was the only home I'd known. Whether she was my blood or not..nor was I summers..I'd grown up believing that she was my mom and in my heart she was, I didn't know these people.."Who were they"? How could they just come back into my life and destroy everything. A part of me rathered the lie, but deep down I knew that it would've come out eventually..but what I didn't realize, maybe I was too niave..too pure and innocent..Too young to understand that when you were a kid you couldn't just digest the information that you didn't belong with the people you considered mom and dad, that there were other issues to consider..Custody..Court stuff..Red tape. I'd heard the man I'd thought was my father talk about red tape and court cases, he was a lawyer and he knew alot about that kind of stuff. I wandered if he'd come home now that he knew that I knew..that things weren't going to be as simple as playing around with your secretary. I hoped he didn't. In a way, I hated him even more than I hated mom. "He'd left", he'd played the game. "He'd abandoned ship".

I slipped my robe on as I edged my way downstairs as I entered the kitchen I poured myself a glass of orange juice, I wasn't really hungry. since learning the big secret and lie I really wasn't in the mood to eat and I figured if I took too long in the kitchen mom would wake up and come down here and try to explain to me why she'd kept this from me, why she'd lied about every single thing since I could remember. "OH I was medicated",buffy..that's why I don't look like I'm in Labor.."All lies"..she hadn't been pregnant to begin with. That woman..That woman who'd been holding me when I was just acouple of months old. "She was my mother", I took a wild guess. it was the only reason that made since..What could she possibly say to make this better. She couldn't say anything", because nothing could change this. "She'd screwed up and now everything was a mess", How could she lie to me for so long. I thought we were closer than that..I thought to myself as I could hear footsteps, but I didn't leave, I just froze. Sat there wondering what she would say. What excuse she'd give me that could make things better. But she didn't say anything, walked in wearing a white robe, she looked a bit pale, almost as if she was afraid to talk to me, she didn't give me any excuse, she just poured herself a cup of tea and sat down acrossed from me, I didn't want to be the first one to speak so I stayed silent, wanting her to feel sorry. be upset with herself for hurting me all of these years. in short..I wanted to punish her.

"I know you want to punish me buffy", and you have all of the right in the world to want that. I should feel terrible for what I did to you. the lies. but I don't. and I know it sounds heartless, but it's not. I didn't want you to grow up thinking that some other woman was your mother, I couldn't have children buffy. A doctor told me it was impossible so me and Hank started to visit local childrens' homes, trying to find the perfect son or daughter, that would be believable to be ours, that could raise and love and I was young and stupid. My parents didn't have money, we had no way to afford anything, it was hank who gave me beautiful things and a good life", you too. and I was scared. I found you, by the time I found you, You were already 2 or three months old and you were the cutest little girl I'd ever seen, You're mother was holding you and she wanted me to take a picture, so I could give it to you when you got older. but I knew she didn't want to give you away buffy, she wasn't poor or of limited means like me, she was wealthy, she was only a kid, my age, really..but she'd told me that her father had wanted her to abort but she didn't believe in it and I was so afraid she'd change her mind weeks, months..even years after the papers were signed and I knew that they could come and take you away in an instant, rich people..they just have to show the money and they get whatever they want so I took over, didn't want to tell anybody that you were adopted, I didn't even tell my parents or anyone of my family, I never did. they kind of figured it out on their own, the fact that you don't look like me or hank, the things you do. some of the things you've said when you were little..But if they ever came to take you back I wanted you to despise them and love me, to think of me as your mother. not to be swayed by fancy things and money. I never wanted to lie. I know I've always taught you that lies are bad but some lies aren't bad, some lies if there said with good intentions are really good, it's the ones that are done out of angry and rage that our bad. I never could feel like you were my daughter at first, you looked so much like that woman when you were young, when you were one you're hair grew alittle long and started to curl and by two your hair grew darker, more of medium-to dark blonde, like now and then the years changed, I had a stylest straighten your hair because everytime I looked at you I saw her and we told everyone that you looked like a sister of hanks..but he has no sisters. by the time you turned four your grandmother was starting to realize that everything we said about you looking like a distant aunt was a lie, and my mother has always had a keen eye for things, saw things that most people wouldn't see, sometimes she went about snooping into everyones' business because she didn't trust me and she never liked hank, but she learned, I don't know how, but she learned that I was unable to have children when she went with me to the doctors' appointment one day and she had tons of questions.."Who are you"? whose baby is that? She thought the worst things,buffy..It ended badly with my mother..We had a fight one night after you were tucked into bed, we said things..bad things. and then she left. she told me that you weren't her grand-daughter. not our blood and didn't belong with strangers. she told me that she'd never believed in adoption and thought us to be fools to disobey her wishes and she told me that if it was in her power she would've called a social worker and had you sent back to the childrens' home, but she didn't. she just left. I haven't seen her since. and you know every year I go to visit Aunt Arlene, she's the only family member that hasn't left me because of this and she looks at you as her neice even though there's no blood..But you must understand that I didn't do this to hurt you, I did this to give you a normal life, so you could grow up like a normal child and never feel like you didn't belong or that you weren't as important as the next child was..I needed and love you, I always had. I did it out of love. I just hope you can understand that..she told me as she looked everywhere but at me, she was nervous..Scared even. I could tell. But did she actually believe that this changed anything? it didn't. I understand that she loves me and that she did it for me and for love, but I felt as if the last 15 years olf my life were a lie, nothing was real. Why did these people give me away if they had intentions on coming back years later and destroying the life I've made.."Why"? I thought with sadness and fear", but I was still bitter at my mom. yes, she'd done this out of love. but she could've told me the truth, not when I was little, but once I got older..maybe when I was or thirteen..or maybe last year..I was old enough to understand the truth even though I wasn't 16 yet..I was more mature and understanding than she gave me credit for being.

But I had questions, Questions that i needed answers too now that we'd started talking about this. I just hadn't realized that there was more to all of this than just dealing with the fact that I wasn't a summers and moving on.

"What is the real reason that Dad left"? I asked, I couldn't not call him dad. I didn't know my real parents and as far as I was concerned he was still my father and she was still my mother..they'd raised me to believe I was theirs..So wasn't I? I thought not understanding how I was supposed to look at this, but mom didn't give me the answers I expected".

mom looked at me as if she'd expected me to ask that very question, I'd had a reacurring nightmare that it was because of me but not me, persay, the slayer, that he knew what I was and left because of me and it was a big deal for me, things hadn't felt right, even when they'd tried to be together and I wanted a straight answer, was it me? I wondered".

After we got you and you got alittle older things changed between me and Hank, we'd thought we'd be together forever and that nothing could split us up but things changed between us, we fought about you alot. he had this idea about sending pictures of you to your real family, his mother had him when she was really young and she hadn't been ready for a baby and he felt sympathy for your mother and he thought it was the right thing to do to send her pictures and write to her, telling her about things you'd done, what you said today. he kept it from me. played me as if I was some big bad monster that had to be kept in the dark but I was humiliated when I found out..and really mad. it wasn't just that he'd kept this from me but I was afraid, you have to understand that..I was afraid that they'd see how pretty you were getting, and hear about all of the wonderful and smart things you were doing and they'd want you back so we yelled..I think you were around four or five when I found out about what he'd been doing and I'd told him that it ended then but He didn't agree, we fought about it endlessly and he kept sending pictures and letters. Oh he loved you buffy. Don't ever think differently, if anything you were the reason he stayed as long as he did, but I'm not going to lie to you anymore, you were also the reason he left..and me..I was hard to live with back then, So cautious and afraid, Anything you did or happened to you that reminded me of your mother I tried to fix..I straightened your hair, I got you interested in things I did when I was your age..and I took more time and care with you, and I lied..Lied because I felt I had to. but by the time you turned eight I could no longer hide the fact that you weren't my real daughter and that you didn't look like me nor hank, you look more like her everyday..i made the best of it, though. I dressed your hair in pig tails with big blue ribbons and bought you a selection of dolls..and your father got you Mr. Gordo as you know..But by the time you were nine he started to work more, I knew that are relationship wasn't as strong as it had been before, I didn't seem to have time for him and he didn't make time for me and whenever we did see eachother I would find out something he'd sent to your mother or wrote to her and I got jealous and angry..he stopped with the letters and pictures for a while..by the time you were ten, I knew he had started to cheat on me, I didn't really know for sure, but I had the feeling. He was rarely ever home and we always fought, he'd yell at me for trying to dress you like me and change your hairstyle and looks drastically so you didn't favor anybody that put me in a bad mood, he didn't like that. he said that I couldn't keep playing this game, I couldn't keep pretending that I was your mother and changing you all of the time so people would believe we were just who I said we were..he'd be gone most of the time and when he came home he'd be drunk or upset. yell at me and tell me with all I was doing to change you, we might as well have sent you back years ago..I hated him for all of the things he said and I started to see people behind his back, when he was at work and I talked with the postman of whom I'd known since I was younger, he was a friend of my parents. I'd told him not to accept any mail from my husband..and that upset him, he stayed out a whole month,buffy. wouldn't even talk to me when he came back..but he never missed a holiday with you. Halloween was his favorite. he enjoyed taking you out trick or treating..Things continued like that for a while but no more letters were sent out and you grew acouple of years older and he had enough, he was sick of fighting, sick of having affairs and feeling bad for betraying our family and I felt bad too, but it wasn't just our marriage and all of the yelling, he didn't like lying to you and having to send out information to parents who didn't even know their own daughter, he didn't like pretending that you were his real daughter even though he looks at you as though you are, he told me right before he left that it was nothing against either of us, he still cared for me and he adores you..but he couldn't sit here, he couldn't sit here day by day watching as the lock ticked and time passed as you knew all the while that if that woman wanted you back she could come back and take you away and we couldn't do anything about it and he was sick of looking at you day after day and seeing the woman we were hiding from, you couldn't understand,buffy. you couldn't understand what it is like to raise a child seeing as day after day they start to look like the one person you fear will destroy what you've built and it was too much for him, he loved you as his own but it was the fact of knowing that you weren't that destroyed him, he knew that one day you'd find out and you'd hate us for keeping this a secret and lying and he'd run twenty miles out of the way to not hurt you..so we agreed to do something to end this..I couldn't just pretend he betrayed me, I loved Hank, he's a wonderful man and I had to have a reason to kick him out and say it was over. it was like a game, and you bought it so it worked but I didn't like that you seemed so terribly hurt by it..it hurt me too seeing you go through that. but I knew that eventually it would've destroyed him, that's why he comes for weekends and on holidays and your special outings on your birthday..It wasn't your fault he left. he left because of the situation and me. I shouldn't have expected so much. I'm still having a hard time dealing with looking at you and seeing her, but I can't hide from it anymore. "I'm not your mother".."No more lies"..she told me as I felt terrible yet I was still mad, I wasn't going to point out that she was even though I'd still call her mom, she'd betrayed me and this was hard for me to deal with, Did she think i was going to welcome her with open arms and forget about all of this", how could I"? I muttered the last part to myself".

I rushed passed her not giving her a chance to say anything else but I knew by the expression on her face that she wasn't done talking but I didn't want to talk anymore, I wanted to put this terrible thing behind me and go to school, I'd thought about staying home last night but I wasn't staying home, laying around and thinking about this all day even though I wasn't in the mood for school, I thought about sitting in the library and doing nothing, Sneider could try to make me go to class, I didn't care anymore. not now.

After getting dressed I rushed downstairs where my bag of school stuff was but I purposely left it behind although I did grab my bag of weapons, I was still in sunnydale,afterall.

I hadn't given much thought to what I wore, just a simple grey sweater and blue jeans, I didn't really care. I just wanted to be out of the house. Away from my mother, or whoever she was right now. but my thoughts and fears would follow me, I wasn't used to this. being the slayer, I'd felt so powerful like I could control everything and now I was realizing just was normal was. but was this normal? to find out that you're parents weren't you're parents.."That couldn't be normal", I thought. I could hear mom rushing to the door telling me that I'd forgotten my books but I ignored her and kept on walking, most mornings she'd driven me to school. "I'd walk today".

I could sense her dissapointment when I didn't turn around but before I could decide otherwise I was in the cemetary sitting on a gravestone, I wasn't really in the mood for school but she wouldn't think to look here for me and I wanted to be alone, I really didn't want to have to deal with giles or anybody but after a while sitting there with my thoughts got to me and I decided on going to make the last block of school, but I didn't step into the class room I just went to the library where Mr. Fluitie was speaking to giles, I figured it was about me.

Mr. fluitie turned around looking at me telling me that I was too late to start the day and that I'd have detention. but he wasn't mean about it. just said what I expected. I really didn't care. I wasn't in the mood to have this conversation, I saw the way giles looked at me, he knew something wasn't okay with me, maybe that was why he didn't bug me about patrolling, but he did ask where my books were. but before I could answer mom walked in with my bag of books in her hand as if she'd been waiting all afternoon wandering where I was.

"Buffy", I brought your books. you left them on the kitchen table..she told me as I stood up and backed away".

"Buffy", I don't want you to go to the bronze with your friends tonight. I want you home early. We have alot to talk about..you wouldn't let me finish this morning..she told me as I stood up even more mad than before, I wanted to cry, to scream but I wouldn't let myself as willow and xander stepped in, but didn't say anyting, as quiet as mice".

"Forget it", I have nothing to say to you and do you think anything you say means anything to me? and maybe now that everything is cleared you and "Dad", can have a good marriage..I yelled putting emphasis and sarcasm on dad as if it was a mocking word".

"Buffy", that's not fair..she yelled back as she gazed back at me", it wasn't you. I told you that. it was the situation. I'm sorry. this whole thing has been unfair to you and I'm sorry you had to find out the way you did. it was terrible. you should've heard it from me. and I am very sorry about that but I'm not saying we need to talk more about my mistakes, I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry the truth is so brutal and cruel to you..but your a child buffy..and there is certain things you and I need to discuss..I know you don't understand. I know your confused and upset..But I have to talk to you about this..just come home in fifteen minutes, right after school is ended. "This is important"..she told me turning her back to me as she left as I wandered what more she could do to destroy my life", could anything really top what I'd just found out last night".

I felt giles' hand touch my arm trying to comfort me, I'd never seen this side to him. he was usually so british..and boss,too.

"Buffy", Is there something I can do? I know I'm your watcher but you can talk to me..giles informed me with a warmth I didn't know he had".

"I'm not coming back to school on monday", I'm not doing this. nothing matters. Atleast me being the slayer stayed the same. and who'd think I'd be happy about that..I muttered in disgust and pain".

"Buffy", what happened"? Your mother seems to be acting more like herself..Xander made the mistake noting as I pulled away from giles' embrace turning a darkness and anger on Xander not meaning to yell".

"that woman is not my mother", she's a liar..she's the reason my father left. I'd leave too. "I hate her"..I uttered in disgust and pain as I fell to the floor in dispair, it was willow that helped me up and to a chair as she tried to get me to explain but all I wanted to do was yell and complain about everything but being the slayer, for once".

as the bell rang I pulled myself to my feet, I wanted to go the bronze, just to spite her. to show her that she wasn't the only one that could act out and do bad stuff. but I didn't. I had a feeling that whatever she wanted to tell me was important and it wasn't about the best, maybe it was about the present. but if she had more bad news, if it was something else that would shatter my world because of her, I wouldn't forgive her.."I wouldn't".

"I can't go with you to the bronze tonight", will. I know I promised..I urged as me,xander,and willow was waiting outside. "Her", car was parked in front of the school, I'd walk home. I didn't want to share a car ride with her, even if it was only a couple of blocks, I still couldn't believe that I wasn't a summers', who was I? she'd never told me my real last name..

What's going on with you,buff? Xander asked me as I had the urge to run off again not wanting them to be bothered with my problems,willow stopped too to listen to what I was going to tell them and I knew they could be trusted, I did trust them already so agreed to tell them, I needed somebody that saw my side and understood why I'd skipped most of the day and had said I wasn't coming back on monday just because I was having a hard time.

"Fine", I know I have to tell you but don't tell anybody else. I don't want cordelia to find out. not that I care. but this is personal..I began as Xander and willow both knodded their head, they weren't really friends with cordy, she made fun of them every chance she could get and to think I'd almost made friends with her.

I found out why my mother was acting so weird, why she'd treated me indifferently..That picture we found,Xand..of me and that woman. she's my mother. my real mother. I was adopted. Mom never told me, she lied to me my whole life and now things are just supposed to be okay because she's sorry and now she wants to tell me something else, I'm sorry. but I'm just not in the mood to celebrate. I don't know if I really hate her or want to be away from her but I just can't believe she lied and that I'm not her daughter. it is hard to deal with so much is happening and it's not like me to not be in control, but I guess that's just the part of me that's the slayer. I admitted as they both looked nervous, as if neither one of them knew what to say as my mother was waiting, I knew she wouldn't let me walk, apparently this was pressing information.

"I didn't want to say anything but you and that woman do look alot alike", but I never thought it would be like that. I thought distant relative or an Aunt. buffy,I'm sorry. We can come over tonight and try to cheer you up, we don't have to go to the bronze..Xander implied as I smiled, the first smile I'd had all day as I was glad for his attempt to help but I wasn't in the mood for having friends over and pretending as if it was a typical day after school.

"Sorry", but I'll have to take a raincheck on that offer there,xand..I just feel like being alone tonight. and I don't know what moms' got to say so maybe tomorrow or whenver..I don't think I'll be in the mood for a while. There's so much..Too much coming at me at once..I told them as I stepped back nervously walking towards my mothers' station wagon as I opened the passengers' door sitting down and as soon as the door shut we were off, she didn't say anything in the car but I had a feeling that it was serious stuff once we pulled up to the house, she led me inside as if I'd never been in the house before as I sat down, I didn't want to hear what she had to say but I couldn't help it, she was upset, angry..and her voice kept raising louder to put emphasis on the fact that what had happened..me finding out..it wasn't just news. things would change. I hadn't realized that just because you learned you were adopted and were still a kid meant that so much would change..she babbled on like a madwoman..but i only heard half of it. the parts where she said that I may not be able to stay in Sunnydale..With her..or with dad in L.A., I called them mom and dad because I'd grown up assuming them as my parents so in part, in my heart..they were. these people who wanted to take me away, they were just blood, they didn't know me and I didn't know them, but I wandered, would I ever look at them as my parents.

"I know your upset with me right now", but this is really serious and I hope you can forgive me..but that's not what this is about. this is why I was protecting you. why I was so afraid for so long. I'm going to lose you..she told me as she fell to the ground in and anger and fear, even sadness".

"I can't say I forgive you but you are my mother it doesn't matter what anybody says. you took care of me and loved me, you're who I remember as my mother so that matters to me. but this is hard. to learn that you really aren't and that I belong with somebody else. I don't want to go. I didn't think I'd have to leave..I began nervously as it seemed as though she was relieved I wasn't yelling at her and wanting to leave, somehow that made things simpler to her".

"We can fight this", We can. if you want to. We'll take them to court and I'll try to make it so you can stay here. it only works if you want to, though. "Do you"? I know I don't have any rights to you, you're not my real daughter but I feel like your mother. I do. so it's up to you? What do you want,buffy? she asked me". I really didn't know what I wanted, But I didn't want to leave, and I didn't know if I was ready or ever would be to live with people I didn't know, people that were my blood family.."Would they make me leave Sunnydale if we lost", but that's when I wanted to know..What is my real last name"? I enquired not that I anxious to use it but if I wasn't a summers, What was I? I wondered hoping she would answer my question".

My question first, Do you want to fight this? she asked me as if this question meant everything and she was right, it did".

"Yes", I don't want to leave. I may be mad at you or feel betrayed but you're still the person that raised me. I don't want to leave", you thought I would..Now can you answer my question? I demanded needing to know, feeling as if I had no control over what happened to me or even what or who I even was".

"Well", Cooper..and by marriage you're considered a Cohen,too. I told your father that I was considering taking him to court over this but he wants to meet you. he knows people, real important political people and as it is he isn't going to make you stay with the authorities while this is going on but if I denied him to see you at all he just might call social services, I'm sorry buffy. but I told him tomorrow, since it's a saturday and you don't have school that he could have you for the day. she told me, i was unsure about this because I could feel myself being sold off already as if we wouldn't win anyway".

"Mom", I don't want to meet anybody"..We're going to lose if you give in this easily..I demanded not wanting to do this but she didn't seem to hear me".

"these people are rich", Weathy-like and I don't want to give them a reason to take you away and rob me of this time we have right now in case we don't win, that could happen. we need to be prepared for stuff like that, just because I can hate these people don't mean you do, their your real family..and he didn't know about you. he just found out, he just found out that he had a child. "These aren't bad people buffy", Their just trying to take everything away from me.."just give it a chance"..she told me even though I knew she wanted me to hate them as much as she did so they would see that I belonged with her, that's where I wanted to be but I'd seen court shows, most cases, the child ended up with their birth-mother. "But I wanted to stay where I was", I didn't know these people. "Did that matter"? I wandered as I decided to go up to my room and ponder the thought some more, not in the mood for t.v. or friends..or anything but my thoughts what happens next? I was afraid for tomorrow..what if I couldn't dislike this man..what if I loved my father, would I be disrespting mom.."I would", I couldn't like him. I had to try not to. I told myself as I finally fell asleep wondering what it would be like, she'd told me to be awake and ready by ten..but I anted to sneak out during the night and not be here when this mysterious father showed up..but I didn't have a choice, mom was right. I was awarded to her by the government, I was a ward of the state now, they could take me away while all of this was going on, I had to play their game, just for now..I thought to myself, I knew she was right this time.

All night I thought about nothing but what it would be like, I wanted to hate this guy and I wanted to be on mom's side through all of this but a part of me felt as if that we were going to lose, it was just a bad feeling that I had and couldn't get away from, we'd lose and I couldn't do anything to stop it, would I really have to go with these people and leave Sunnydale behind, Did that mean I wouldn't be the slayer anymore"? I never thought about that..but a part of me still wanted it, it was the only thing that stayed constant, if that changed too, I wouldn't be able to control anything and I'd really be powerless for the first time, Could I put up with that.

Jimmy's point of view:

I couldn't sleep, all I could do was look out the window and think about what the morning would bring. I knew this woman hated me. she wanted nothing more for me to go back to newport, back to my family and dissapear forever and I felt awful for interfering and destroying her life, it wasn't my intent. I'd never known I'd had a daughter, and then these pictures had shown up and I'd needed answers, Kirsten wouldn't give me a straight answer, said it was probably some old baby pictures of relatives..but I didn't believe her. but Cal told me the truth. how he hadn't permitted her to have the baby and that kirsten did anyway because she hadn't believed in abortion and all the while she hadn't thought to tell me that somewhere I had a daughter, I'd never seen her before, just acouple of pictures of when she was a newborn or 2 years old..She looked alot like her mother..but she favored marissa too. I was so mad at kirsten right now that I didn't think I'd be able to talk to her.."Had Sandy known"? I wandered sitting up in bed gazing out into the darkness, I was afraid for the first time. in the morning I was going to meet my daughter for the first time and I was afraid that I'd screw it all up, I'd lost everything, all my money..Lost my job..that's why I worked for Kirstens' father,Cal..he'd taken pity on me. A part of me wandered if I should just spare her getting hurt and leave, but I couldn't. Marissa nor Katlin knew. I knew I had to make a trip home because alot was going on, I hope I wouldn't lose my job over this. Caleb nickel wasn't exactly the easiest person to get along with.

I then walked over to the window as I pulled out my cell phone to make a call, I'd forgotten that Julie had wanted me to call her once I got settled wherever I was staying.

it wasn't long before I heard her voice on the other line.

Hello jules..I said with a sigh as she began giving me the third degree about staying at hotels and apartments outside of orange county and how you didn't know what kind of people were there last. I wasn't in the mood for this. I needed her support but apparently she wasn't in the mood for that.

"I'm sorry",Jimmy but you were supposed to be home days ago. Marissa has been going on and on about it. and you know she'll make everything about her..Let me guess. your trying to be nice and spare this woman the ugly details of taking your own daughter away from her..Well,Don't,Jimmy. I think if your having trouble you should talk to caleb..Julie began as I told her I wasn't interested but she hung up saying how this was the best thing for everybody and that nobody got the best of Caleb Nickel.

I sighed as I sat back on the bed staring off into space, I hoped I didn't do anything to ruin things. I didn't want to hurt this woman. she seemed nice and she had taken care of my daughter for fifteen years, I wanted to do this peacefully and without hurting anybody but julie was right. there was no peaceful and good way to do this, it was either I just visited from time to time or I fought for custody..and I didn't want to just visit, I'd missed so much of her life already..I knew what Calebs way was..and I knew Julie agreed. but I didn't want to ruin her just because she was involved personally. that had always been my downfall, I'd never wanted to hurt anybodys' feelings. I'd always thought that was why me and kirsten broke up, but now I knew the truth. She'd been pregnant and she hadn't had the respect or decency to tell me that I had a child.

I knew I had to get some sleep and to stop thinking about everything that could go wrong tomorrow if I wanted to be any good and make a good impression I had to be at my best, so I laid back down in bed as I drifted off to sleep thinking and worrying about what julie said, maybe she was right, maybe there was no calm and easily respected way to take my daughter away from the only family she'd ever known. Would it become a battle for custody", I knew it would. I thought in my sleep preparing myself for tomorrow".

--end of jimmys' point of view--

I was awake early, by six a.m. I knew he wasn't due to arrive until seven-thirty but I had a long night and I was worried about what was going on. I wanted to be able to accept him and judge him based on the day I'd spend with him and not how my mother felt or I felt about being forced out of this house and away from my friends and I'd try to be fair, but I was worried and concerned. What if he didn't like me? maybe I should try..then he'd leave. and I could stay and just deal with the fact that I was adopted and that my whole life had been a lie. "I could deal with that eventually".

As I dressed in a white cashmere' blouse and blue jeans, putting on socks and shoes, my mother walked in, she didn't say anything. Just stood in the doorway observing.

"Buffy", I've made alot of mistakes. I should never have lied to you the way I did..But the way I feel shouldn't influence your opinion of your real father. It isn't him or them people that I hate, it's the situation. you were never really mine and I knew that along time ago, that's why I felt I had to lie, like there was a time clock and it was counting down til the day you would be taken from me and I am sorry about that, but please don't judge him because of me, you need to make up your own mind about this. he's your real father and he never knew about you, he just found out..and if you like him and end up wanting to leave..I'll understand..she told me as I stood up".

"No", I don't want to leave. Even if I do like him. you may not be my mother but this is my home. I'm not going. your going to take these people to court and your going to win. I urged running a comb through my hair as I stepped out leaving her alone with her thoughts, I walked down the stairs stepping into the kitchen as I poured myself a glass of orange juice, I was still alittle tired and nervous, I didn't know what to expect.

I could hear my mothers' footsteps as the doorbell rang, every muscle in my body tightened and I just simply didn't know what to expect. Was I supposed to call him "Dad", because he was my father..Did he expect me to hug him after not knowing him. What was I expected to do. Could I act like me or did I have to act a certain way, I'd never felt like this and I didn't know what to do.

I could hear my mother carrying a conversation as she led him into the front room calling for me, I wasn't sure whether if this was a good thing or not.

but I did as I was told and sat the glass of orange juice down and I made my way into the dining room where I saw mom and that guy I'd seen when i'd learned the truth, we did resemble eachother, I couldn't deny that and for a father he wasn't bad looking but I didn't know what to say or do, what was I expected to do? I wandered".

I could see the cold look on my mothers' face, her eyes were now full of eyes and fear and I wanted to promise her that they couldn't take me away but I couldn't promise anything, afterall money did usually make people change their minds and if you had money you could do about anything, I'd learned that. the man that I'd thought to be my father was a lawyer, I'd learned that from him.

Jimmy, this is Buffy. I heard my mother introduce in an icy tone of voice".

he edged towards me as if he couldn't believe his eyes, as if he was seeing a ghost of somesort.

I'm sorry but you look so much like your mother, you even look similiar to your half sister. I know this weird. I feel odd being here and doing this. I don't quite know what to do and say..i never knew that I had another daughter before until now, I thought we could go around and do afew things..Get to know eachother alittlle. You like icrecream and hotdogs, right? I saw a place called "Hotdog on a stick", Jimmy told me as I knodded".

Yeah, sounds good..I replied more nervous than I'd thought possible as I could tell by the look on my mothers' face that me leaving this house with my freal father sent her into a frenzy, she was just as scared as I was".

and I thought you could pick out something at the mall, I'm not going to try buy you , I just want to get to know you and most teenage girls like the mall,right? he asked me his voice shaking with nervousness and worry, I could tell that I wasn't the only one that feared how this day would turn out, he didn't seem like the monster I had him to be before, maybe this wouldn't be terrible, I just didn't want to leave my mother..she looked so weak, so lost. As if this truly was the end and we'd already lost, it hurt me that she thought it was over so soon, but she was fighter..Joyce summers never gave up.

Once outside he led me to his car as I got in I stayed as silent as a mouse, I didn't know what to say but it was a good thing that he held the conversation, it seemed as if he was a kid himself, he didn't seem overbearing or pushy, or manipulative as if he was trying to get me to want to live with him and leave the woman I'd called mom my entire life behind, he seemed nice. but a part of me wanted to hate him, wanted to hate him because he threatened mom and me, but I couldn't. he didn't do anything wrong. he'd been just as betrayed as I was..He didn't know about me until now and I hadn't known about him. I guess it was alright that I liked him..but It didn't feel right.

He asked me about school and if I got good grades, about my friends and boyfriends..If I'd lived in Sunnydale my entire life and I'd answered all of his questions, but I never brought up the slayer stuff, I knew it was a bad idea because it was top secret even if we knew eachother better than we did, I'd sat there at a picnic table eating some icecream, he didn't but he watched me eat, made me feel abit uncomfortable but I didn't say anything, I just quickly finished, rambled on that I couldn't stay out long because I had homework, which was a lie. I knew that. but I didn't want to get to the point where I liked him too much, in a way I felt like I was betraying mom. "Was I"? I wandered".

"That's alright", he told me..We can go and get a corn dog and head back. We can go to the mall another day if that's okay. I've enjoyed this afternoon with you and it's been nice. I was afraid it wouldn't go so well, i worried all night last night that I'd say all of the wrong things and mess things up but I"m glad I didn't back out and I have nothing against Mrs. Summers. she's done a wonderful job with you..I just didn't want you to think that this was a personal vendetta against her..he told me, I didn't tell him what I was thinking. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, he seemed nice. but I didn't want to live with them, this was my home. it had been for so long. how could they just make me leave just because I was really his daughter and not hers. Did they really have the power to make me leave my home? I thought silently as I was led off acouple of doors down where hotdog on a stick was located, I wasn't really hungry, I wanted to get home to mom, to let her know that I hadn't betrayed her even though she'd betrayed me and lied, I felt terrible for liking this guy who was my father..but even more terrible for not wanting to go back home, wanting to spend more time with him. but I didn't want to leave. I just wanted to get to know this father I'd never know. "Was that wrong"? I pondered the thought so long it seemed like hours had passed before we'd eaten our corn dogs and headed back home where he'd drop me off and I'd feel as if I wasn't being pulled in two different directions at once..I wandered if we could win or if money did mean everything.

On the ride home he told me how it was nice that I agreed to meet him and spend a day together and then he stopped the car in front of my house and let me out, he didn't come in, just let me go back home as I wandered if he'd just leave after I'd told him I didn't want to go there and I wanted to keep living in that house with friends nearby, but I didn't know. he hadn't told me what his plans were, I knew that was for the adults to discuss, I was the reason for all of this madness, I knew that now.

I didn't know what to think, he seemed nice enough but I didn't want myself to like him. If I liked him it meant that I was going against my mother and it meant that I was somehow betraying her even though she'd told me that it wasn't and that she wanted me to like these people, my real family. but I didn't know whether I should or not, was I betraying her by liking him or was I just being stupid? I didn't want to leave and maybe that was a reason to hate them. they were pulling me away from the only mother I'd ever known, yes..that was a good reason to hate.

that night I made myself go to sleep earlier than usual, I'd told mom what she wanted to hear. that I didn't like him and that no matter what I wasn't leaving, I think it did her heart good to hear me say that I chose her over them, even though a small part of me really liked him. He was funny and sincere, I didn't feel as nervous as I thought I would with him, It was as if he was just a kid himself. but I didn't tell her that, whether or not she'd told me to like him or dislike him for my own reasons, not hers, but her reasons were mine and I had to be with her all the way, unless things would go south and they would win. I didn't want to leave.

I'd went to my room and fell asleep wandering if there would be a big case hearing like the ones I'd seen on the court channel or if mom would just give in and let them have me..Or maybe they'd give in and leave me be, but I doubted that. they seemed very set on what they wanted and what they wanted was me. and Mom, atleast I hoped she wouldn't just give in and give me up like I was a peice of property to be auctioned off.

So I went to sleep trying to think possitively wandering what I'd do tomorrow, it was a sunday all to myself. mom was going to be at the gallery all day long working on some new peice to be at some Art show next fall and I'd have the house to myself, I wasn't really in the mood to stay at home though, I'd done so much sulking and feeling badly that I wanted to get out, but not the bronze. I wasn't ready to celebrate. this wasn't something to be happy about. I wanted to go to the expresso pump and just calm down, maybe Willow and Xander would join me. Afterall, if these people got there wish, I might never see my friends again.

Peaceful dreams then took over me and for the first night since learning the truth, I slept soundly and didn't have nightmares about being pulled away from mom, away from Sunnydale and pushed into a life I'd never lived, I just thought about what a good day I'd have tomorrow, enjoying a nice Sunday with my friends, friends that could be taken from me if me and mom lost this battle, I had a bad feeling about it,though. but I was hopeful that things would end up the way I wanted them to end up, but I had never been a real positive person. I was always so negative. Especially with the slayer stuff. Giles had mentioned that several times.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch.3 Jimmys' News

By the time that I woke up mom had already left but she'd left me a note saying that she was expecting dad to drop by today. Well he wasn't my father but he was the closest thing I had to one, the guy I'd met who truly was my father seemed nice and a part of me really liked him, but he was a stranger. I wasn't ready to call him father yet. honestly, I just met him. We weren't even friends yet. He was just nice and I was glad of that. Maybe if I let it be known that I wanted to stay here he wouldn't push the situation. Maybe he was decent enough of a guy to not force me out of my own home. I could tell he wanted me and I was glad that he wasn't the kind of father that didn't care, but this was my life. I didn't know him..my real family..My real relatives..They were strangers to me. "Could he understand that"? I wondered".

I'd saw mom's note on the kitchen counter and read it and I was still startled when the door opened and dad and some guy I didn't know walked in. I knew I wasn't related this time. the guy was tall and black, he wore a suit but he wasn't prim and proper or anything, actually it had seemed as if he hadn't always been a lawyer, if he was dad's friend. that's what he was. they probably worked together. But I wasn't in the mood for making nice with one of his friends. I was mad at him. In a way I was starting to forgive mom because I feared I wouldn't be able to tell her how I could forgive her if we lost, but I hadn't forgotten. But he'd just walked out. Things had gotten hard and he'd left and now he comes back trying to fix everything as if it really matters to me that it's him that is trying to fix things, if he actually fixes things I'll be grateful. but this changes nothing between us. I hadn't even realized that I thought that way until this very moment..but what way was I supposed to think? He basically abandoned us. He asked for this.

"Charles", this is my Daughter Buffy. The one we've been talking about..I heard him introduce me as I took a step back glaring at him".

I"m not your daughter! "Isn't that why you've come back to suddenly fight for me", You don't get to walk one year and just suddenly show up the next like you have a claim to me. Like I'm some kind of peice at an aucton. I've forgiven mom. she made mistakes and I have to forgive her before whatever is going to happen, there's a chance we could lose, you know. and I do love her. but you..We've got alot of stuff between us. you left us and now that mom tells me the truth..I don't know if I want to except you as my father. you left us when we needed you just because you couldn't deal. Well guess what..Paybacks' A bitch..and from now on I think I'll call you hank! I growled out with anger not really even saying hi to his friend..simply put",I wasn't in the mood.

--Fades to black--Jimmy's Point of View:--

It had been a good drive from my hotel in Sunnydale back to Newport, I'd promised Julie that I would come back to explain everything to the girls and to have a meeting with Caleb about what was going on and then I'd go back in an attempt that next time I'd bring my daughter back with me. But I had no clue what Caleb Nichol was going to propose. and he could be very charitable when he had the means to but he wasn't the type of man you wanted on your bad side. I was very grateful that he'd given me a chance after I'd lost all of our money and made a mockery of the cooper name, I still didn't believe that Julie had fully forgiven me for that. but she hadn't thrown me out because of Caleb..Cal had taken me in and it didn't bother me that it was for Julie and the girls and that he

Saw it as a reasonable business venture, I was just glad he'd helped us out and now I had a chance to know, To be a father to a girl I'd never known exsted and I wasn't turning it down. I wasn't going to pretend like I didn't know even though I didn't want to hurt the woman who'd raised her, I felt like I had a reason and a respectable need to have her here in Newport, Rooming with Marissa, Maybe even Kaitlin, She's a cooper and she needs to know who her family is..She's a cohen too. she's missing out on alot. and I didn't want to hurt anybody but by all rights. She was my daughter. I still couldn't believe that Kirsten had never told me about this. How could she keep the fact that I had a daughter top secret and not tell me. I was mad. but for the sake of our friendship I hadn't brought it up to her. she hadn't even known that I'd come back and that I knew where our daughter was. In a way, it was my way of punishing her. I know..Julie called it weak. she wanted to give her the what for and I wasn't sure she hadn't. "Julie was Julie". Shecould be a tyrant she'd have a mind to".

Stopping the car I made my way inside, I knew exactly what I was going to say to Julie. But Marissa and Kaitlin, that was another story. What could I say? I just found out that I have another daughter..you've got a half sister..Marissa could act very mature for her age other than things that went on with Julie, and Kaitlin, she was only 12, I was more concerned about how she would take the news than marissa..I wander if Caleb knows he has a grand-daughter? I wandered with curiosity stepping inside of the house as I could see maids walking up and down the steps, Julie had fired yet another maid since I'd been gone, she didn't like the maids spying on her newpsie events. It was different for Julie, she usually didn't deal with the hired help, none of them had seemed to bother her before.

Stepping inside I saw julie walk in just noticing that I was home, she didn't make it her main goal to get to me in a hurry, and it appeared as if the girls weren't around so I took this oppertunity to explain what went on, but I was too late as she'd began to grill me on what had happened in Sunnydale and why me and Kirstens' daughter wasn't with me, as if she expected me to just grab the girl and run, their were legal matters, the woman who had raised her wasn't going to let her leave without a fight and I hadn't wanted to hurt anybody, she'd even said that she didn't want to leave..and I wanted her to be happy.

"She doesn't want to come and live with us", she likes it where she is. and that woman that has raised her. she seems nice..and..I began but was interrupted by julie as we were seated at a large oak table where we normally ate dinner".

"Jimmy"..When will you learn. It's not about what that woman wants or what your daughter does. she doesn't know what life is like in Newport so ofcourse she wants to stay where she is. but whether she likes it or not..She's a cooper..Us Coopers belong together and she is your daughter,Jimmy..You can't just let her stay with "Some Woman", I think you better here what Cal has to say tomorrow at his meeting with you..He can be very persuasive. Julie told me turning her back to me as Kaitlin walked in all red faced and upset, she was only twelve and I knew she'd take the news badly..I wasn't looking forward to talking to her about it.

"I can't believe this school and these people", I hate the kids here mom..oh Dads home..Kaitlin noticed me with a wide smile but was all dirty from riding her pony and didn't rush to hug me like normal as she stared back at julie as if she knew there was something going on, she was ensightful for a girl her age".

I turned to her as Julie explained that I wanted to talk to her and Marissa when Marissa got back from spending the day with "That boy", that boy being Ryan. the boy the Cohens had adopted afew months ago.

"Marissa",huh..she mimicked passing us as she dissapeared upstairs muttering to herself about something she'd done with her horse today at the stables as I was glad she had something that made her happy, I'd always liked nature and wanted my own horse and since I'd been able to get what I'd needed because I was fortunate enough to grow up in a wealthy family, I was glad to give some of that to Kaitlin and Marissa, but Kaitlin was the one that took me up on most of the wealth, Not to say that Marissa didn't have nice things. her benefits came with Clothes and going to the mall.

"I bet on Kaitlin taking the news better than marissa", you know somehow, some way she'll make this all about her..Julie bantered on as I tried to ignore that comment because I honestly believed that Marissa would take the news better than her younger sister Kaitlin and I hoped they wouldn't blame me, If I would've known before that I'd had a daughter things would be different now, I told myself.

I stared back at Julie after it was silent and we were alone again as though she seemed in good spirits as if my daughter coming and Cal's meeting meant the world and everything good would come of it.

"Are you sure you don't want to be with me and talk to them about this", it's about the family,too. I asked feeling more comfortable if she joined me on this but she shook her head with frustration and shock, shock that I'd ask her for help on this when it clearly wasn't her problem".

"Jimmy", What are you talking about? Why should I do this..Nobody is going to blame you..it's Kirstens' fault..but this is your mess. you tell the girls. I have yogalotis class to make..No worries though..I'll try to avoid kirsten. What she did to this family is just awful..julie told me in a cold and sarcastic voice, I just hoped she didn't say anything, Kirsten didn't even know that I knew about this..the last thing I needed was the truth to come out..From Julie.

I tried to smile but I didn't like the anger she had not that it wasn't understandable, she could've told me I had a daughter even if she didn't want to keep her. I should've known that me and her had, had a child together but she'd kept that fact from me, before I headed back I wanted to talk to her, to tell her that I knew and that now julie could stop acting fake nice and things could return to normal, I wanted to a reason from her..A reason why she'd kept this from me. I was mad. but I wasn't the kind of person to try to destroy her life just because she lied to me. I just wanted things to return to normal. although with everything that was going, maybe normalcy was going to change.

it was hours before marissa got home and I was disturbed and surprised to see instead of marissa Caleb Nichel stepped into the doorway, I wandered how he'd learned that I was home on such short notice, I'd thought there would be a meeting tomorrow but apparently this just couldn't wait as he sat down at the table wearing a suit and tie, with his hair freshly brushed and his blue eyes glistening in the sunlight.

"I was prepared for your return Jimmy", but since your back now and the meeting isn't such a meeting as a deal I've decided to say what I need to say right now..I know about about Kiki's little indescretion, I've always known..and though it's admirable that she kept this from you, Julie tells me that your just going to give up, leave her with that woman..if you do, your a bigger fool than I thought..You want your daughter, that's understandable..and she's family so she belongs here among her real family and I'm going to help you with that..she's not going to let you take this girl from her without a fight, what parent would, Sandford owes me a favor..Cal began as if it was already a done deal as he began to pull files out of a breifcase as if I was some wayward client he was sealing the deal with, it was as if I wasn't even in the room".

"How did you"..Kirsten told you..I asked eager to know how he knew when I hadn't known and I was the father".

Cal smirked, almost proud of himself with a gesture I'd seen many times.

"There's nothing about my daughter that I'm not previous too"..Kiki knows that. Cal beamed at me as if he truly believed every word of it as if he expected me to go on like he knew I had more to add to that comment as he sat there expectantly".

"She doesn't want this life", she wants to stay and I don't want to hurt the woman that's been taking care of her. she's nice and if she's happy there, then..I began wanted to take the easy route, not wanting to hurt anybody and as if the things I said had little or no importance he took over and I wandered why I said anything at all, I was beginning to realize why Sandy got so frustrated with him.

"You need to develop a backbone", You can always get more blood out of the stone"..We're going to fight her on this..better yet..We're going to win..he proudly stated sliding the papers back into his black breifcase as if the deal had already been sealed and I'd said yes, which I hadn't. but he didn't ask me what my opinion was about court and fighting for custody, he'd just folded up his breifcase and left leaving me sitting there, wandering just what had happened and if there had been a meeting at all, To me it felt more like a dictatorship, but I did want all of my kids under one roof. Cal stopped by the door staring back at me, I hadn't realized he was still there, he knew that I didn't like fighting, I wanted things to go smoothly and not to hurt anybody and he didn't ask me if I agreed, not once, I couldn't believe I didn't expect this from the moment he stepped in with how sandy talked about their business ventures.

Either your with me on this or your not..but if your not and you dissapear this time back to that town to visit your daughter, I can't guarantee that you'll have a job when you come back..he told me, more like he threatened me", and I know how julie in the girls expect nice things", isn't this job the reason juju didn't leave you in the first place"..think about that..he threatened me as he stepped out the door and this time he was gone, out of the distance and I knew it was a threat but I knew that he'd do what he said and I had to take him up on it..now that I knew I had a daughter I couldn't turn my back on her, and I couldn't pretend Caleb hadn't threatened me when he had..but he was right. if it was up to the money and the job, if Caleb put me out on the streets like when I'd made that mistake with the money, Julie would leave me for sure..and he was right. we all wanted the same things. and some things come at a price.

A took a sigh of relief afew minutes later as Marissa stepped in ending the date or group-hang she and Ryan had been on not realizing that I had news for her and her sister and that things could be really weird for a while.

--End of jimmys' Point of View--

--Marissa's Point of view--

I had a long day, but it was a good day at that. Me and Ryan went with Summer and Seth to pier and hung out most of the day. it wasn't what you'd expect but it was fun, I hadn't expected to go home and find my dad waiting for me, he seemed stress, a long day. I hadn't known why he'd left and nobody had told me where he'd went, my mother had said that he was running an arrand for Caleb, I knew that was flat out lie, Caleb didn't seem to me like the kind of guy who had people do his jobs for him..I'd heard a conversation with him kirsten when I'd been over there afew nights that he didn't get to where he was now by being lazy and having other people do his jobs for him.."So predictable"..I thought to myself. but I was glad to see that my dad was home. I wandered what was going on. he seemed alittle on edge, more than usual.

I sat down on the couch as he walked over and sat down next to me, he didn't turn on the t.v. or some music like he sometimes did, I wandered where he'd been. it must've been important. I hoped that my parents weren't getting divorced like they almost did but if that were the truth, I'd think she'd be here to. As easy as it is to admit, I'd live with him. I brushed a strand of dark blonde hair out of my face flashing my blue eyes his way as he began to speak, to tell me something, but I interrupted him.

"Not meaning to interrupt", but where were you? I don't believe that lie about you running an arrand for Caleb. Mom's losing her edge. the fact that I'd believe that is nuts. What is really going on,Dad? I asked as he took a deep breath and began, and this time I didn't interrupt him and I was anxious to hear what he had to say, as I wandered why Kaitlin wasn't down here for this, maybe he was going to tell her whatever this was later, like a one on one thing, that's understandable, I thought.

"The thing is Marissa", A week ago I was going through some things with kirsten over at the cohens and I found something. A picture and a letter. it was of a 2 year old I'd never seen before. A little girl..I read the letter and I did the math, the baby in the picture was kirstens' and mine..before I ever got together with your mom, it's the reason she broke up with me, I understand that now..I went to find this girl. and I found her..She's your age now. You have a half sister..He told me as I was complete baffled and shocked", out of the things I expected him to say, this was the last thing I'd thought of, but it wasn't terrible.

"You didn't know you had a daoughter", Kirsten didn't tell you? I asked just as shocked as I wandered if Seth knew that he had a half sister as well but this wasn't his fault, he just found out about this and I thought it would be kind of nice to have a sister my age I'd never known but it was a shock and it was hard to get used to, the fact that I had family I didn't know, atleast it was good news for once. but I didn't give dad a hard time about like I was sure my mother would, everything was always about her.

I noticed Kaitlin standing in the middle of the room , her long bronw hair down to her waste and her mouth agape overhearing the last thing he'd said as she began to rant and rave about her pony, her nice things and how it all would be wasted on some half sister , everything would be taken from her. as I rolled my eyes and scowled", Snob"..I uttered kissing my father on the forehead and then heading up to bed, it had been a long day, I couldn't say that this didn't bother me but I was looking at the possitive and I was also curious how she would get along with my mother. not many people could easily get along with "Julie Cooper", she was my mother and we even had trouble there.

But there was parts of this that I wasn't sure about, I felt sorry for him but a part of me was alittle mad at Kirsten, how could she not tell him? but maybe she had her reasons. I couldn't go up and slug her and call her names..It was rude..and She was Seths' mother..and Ryan looked at her as his mother..I couldn't exactly do that..But I could be angry with her..I just didn't understand how people could keep those types of secrets..it would shock me if my mother went a whole yogalotis class without sticking her nose in kirstens' business like her friends did, not that I was happy with her right now, but that was my mother for you..I thought rolling my eyes with disgust deciding on a early night entering my large, bedroom with my nice things..I wasn't a snob like Kaitlin or my mother..i actually saw most of this news as a good thing.

--End of Marissa's point of view--


	4. Chapter 4

Ch.4 Century Poverty Galla Ball--Disaster

--Kirstens' point of view--

I shifted from one side to the next without so much as any help seeing as Sandy sat silently at the bar counter eating bagle with cream cheeese, then,I saw Ryan and Seth talking at the table as they,too sat there with bagels and cream cheese I was interrupted and showed the caterers inside as well as the servers as this charity event was just about to begin, I'd heard that Jimmy had an announcement he wanted to say tonight, I hadn't realized that it was a private announcement that he wanted to discuss with me, when I'd discussed it with my father he'd seemed to know what it was and was very candid about saying that he didn't think jimmy had that in him. I wandered just what he was talking about. but I had noticed that Julie had been acting weird around me lately, like I had a disease or something. We'd never been what you call very close, but she was one of my oldest friends and for her to act like I was an outsider, something was up. maybe it had to do with Jimmys' secret. I was hoping that we'd score big on this charity event, it was for a really good cause.

I started to show people in as they were mostly newpsies, a big society group in Newport that was known for saying who was important and who was not. some business clients of the newport group showed up as well as then I began to see Dr. Roberts and important people who gave alot of money to charities like this and then the coopers. Marissa was dressed in a beautiful and elegant blue gown and stunning diamond earrings, Kaitlin trailed behind her in a simple white sundress that glittered, I thought they looked like they'd just stepped out of catalog, I had a hard time getting Sandy and the boys to where suits, let alone anything else. I'd always wanted a daughter that I could dress up in diamonds and dresses..As I trailed back down memory lane recalling a sweet little two month old baby i'd given up. A daughter Jimmy didn't know he had. sometimes I thought about her and all of the times I regretted giving her up..but telling jimmy. I'd wanted to. Not everything was your choice in life. At the time, my dad had forbidden me to even have contact with Jimmy let alone tell him that he had a daughter somewhere in the world.

I tried to get my mind off of the past as I began to play hostess, showing Dr. Roberts to a seat to make sure he was comfortable the servers noticed that his hands were empty, I figured Summer was out at the poolhouse with Seth and Ryan, I was shocked that Marissa was in here instead out there as well, she didn't seem happy about dressing up in diamonds and glittery clothing to please her mother but maybe I was misreading her. I thought to myself".

Soon the party kicked in as julie made it her main Goal to take donations as the part took over outside and Marissa, as I'd expected dissapeared to go find the boys and Summer. Sandy just stood to the side of me taking in the atmosphere and hearing people with money sign checks and put them in a pot up next to a table where julie sat as she shot me death stares, but this time I tried to ignore them as I noticed that jimmy,too was avoiding me. I'd give it alittle longer, I thought to myself", and then I'll ask them what is going on.

I signed a check as well as I walked over and put it into the pot and julie smiled a fake smile my way as I decided to get some answers, I didn't want this party to end like most parties ended but I had to know, this wasn't just "Julie Cooper", this was Jimmy. he was one of my dearest friends. I couldn't just pretend like they weren't avoiding me, pretend like there wasn't something going on right now, I didn't recall doing anything to upset them but that didn't always mean anything with julie. If my father knew that there was something going on and I didn't..Maybe there was a reason everyone was acting so strange right now. I pondered the thought as I edged my way towards Jimmy to ask him what was going on and if We had a problem..I was really at a loss right now.

"This isn't the time"..Jimmy kept telling me as the music silenced and julie was right behind me now to deliver what Jimmy just couldn't but I didn't want to hear it from her, I wanted to hear whatever Jimmy had on his mind from Jimmy but she wasn't going to give me the benefit as she said the one thing that could get my attention.

"I bet Sandy thinks that you just had an abortion", Jimmy knows..Julie told me as I turned to her and even Sandy who had been exhausted from a tiring party stepped closer to hear what had to be said".

"Jimmy knows What"! Sandy growled as I knew what she meant and it wasn't her place but I couldn't not answer Sandy, he was my husband, and the fact that jimmy knew that he had a daughter if that's what julie was saying..How could he..Dad..I thought to myself, he was the only other person that knew, he was around somewhere, I saw him earlier with a glass of champaigne talking to Sandy.

I took a deep breath, I didn't know what to say or do as Seth,Summer,Ryan,and Marissa stepped in making my truth that much more harder to admit out loud where so much could go wrong but Julie had cornered me and if Jimmy truly did know and Sandy had demanded to know, there was nothing else for me to do but tell the truth even though I knew people would be mad, I'd never thought this would come up again, I'd wanted to keep her. to raise her. but my dad wouldn't allow it..and he'd made me lie to Jimmy. this was a big truth to admit to, it was only fitting for a party like this to go sour. it usually did.

people who had been so into their own stuff piled around to hear what was said, I was never so ambarrassed in my life as I was at this moment, even my father stood there with his hands folded in front of him, a proud expression on his face. he knew exactly what was to be said and he prided himself in knowing that there wasn't anything about me he didn't know, and people said I didn't know my father.

I could see Sandy's eyes on me, I knew that he wasn't going to let this go and I had to answer him, by the expression on his face I knew I had to tell him the truth, once for all. No more lies.

Before I met you, when me and Jimmy were together..the reason we almost got married. the reason we broke up as you know I was pregnant,Sandy. please don't make a big deal out of this, I told you that I had an abortion because I wanted to start over and it wasn't a part of our business, it was about Jimmy and me, I gave our daughter up for adoption, I didn't get an abortion. I said coming clean with everything, I saw the betrayed expression on Seths' face, the shocked one on Ryans', it had appeared that Marissa already knew, summer wasn't paying much attention at all.

I saw as Sandy reverted his eyes from me to Julie and Jimmy. I could tell that Jimmy wanted to say something. he looked hurt and upset but Jimmy was too nice. he didn't say anything. just lowered his head and in defeat as my dad smiled with a musement and pride.

"I should've known you didn't have it in you", I always did. Afterall, why do you think I ordered this information to be kept secret and your daughter to be shipped off. "and you think I didn't know", their not anything that happens in Orange County or even outside of it that I'm previous to.Remember that,Jimmy..My father ordered, I wanted to tell him not to do this, not now but my father was on a roll and when Caleb Nickel had something in his mind, you couldn't change it..I tried to pull him back, beg him not to but he just ignored me completely".

"I found a picture and a letter", you failed..Jimmy admitted as I called out",Jimmy", in a disgusted voice as if it wasn't right for him to egg my father on anymore, I didn't want Jimmy to get hurt anymore than he had to".

"What makes you think you found that picture and letter by Accident", I don't make mistakes,Jimmy..", he uttered as he walked away but Sandy's cold stare prevented me from following my father".

he turned to everyone ignoring me for a moment.

"The party is over", Everyone can go home now..Sandy demanded in a loud voice dissapearing into the house, Seth and Ryan followed Suit as Marissa and Summer left as well, I knew I had alot to tell everyone,Especially Sandy and Seth..But it was hard coming out into the open at this late date, my daughter was now probably Seths' age..and then I thought of Seth and Ryan..What would they think? I wandered as I then stepped inside standing in the hallway, nobody seemed to call for me but I could hear someones' footsteps..it was my father..he leaned forward and kissed me on the foreward.

"Tomorrow we'll talk business",Kiki..Give Sandford my best..he told me as I passed him to go and find Sandy, it was apparent that we needed to talk.

Stepping into the living room I was joined by Seth,Sandy,and Ryan. Ryan looked alittle compassionate and understanding, not judging. but Sandy and Seth were betrayed.

"I guess now all of the newport knows how you and Jimmy broke up"? Nice goin' mom..Seth aimed his remark at me and I felt terrible that he'd say those words but Sandy wouldn't stand for that".

"Seth Ezekiel Cohen", You will not talk to your mother like that..Apologize..Sandy raised his voice towards are son but Seth just stood up away from the couch",Why? he asked and Sandy didn't look impressed, I wanted to tell Sandy to leave it be, that it was okay but he wasn't hearing anything I had to say for now".

"Seth", Maybe..Maybe you should give her a break..Everybody makes mistakes"! Ryan added on my behalf and I was glad but I had betrayed everyone, I couldn't blame seth for how he felt".

"Ryan", for once can we not do this..We're talking about "My mother", I heard him growl out as sandy glared towards him with anger", Yes, father, I'm going to my room..Seth growled out passing me and Sandy up the staircase in the direction of his room and I felt terrible..it was was my fault, all of this was my fault. "Why did our parties have turn out so badly", I wondered as I was left in the room with Sandy after Ryan had dissapeared out to the poolhouse wondering if Seth would be mad at him for trying to help.

--Sandy's point of view--

I didn't know what to do or say, I was completely speechless. I knew about the baby. I knew that she'd been pregnant but that she kept the fact that she hadn't had an abortion but had given her daughter up for adoption, I couldn't believe she never told me, I felt alittle betrayed and hurt, I was beyond upset with Seth, he had his points but he was a child, he shouldn't talk to his mother the way he had..but now that it was my turn and we were sitting down together on the couch, I didn't know what to say..I was dissapointed. that's all I could tell her..It had been a good thing she'd started the conversation or nothing would've been said.

"Sandy", I'm sorry. I never meant for this to come up again..things are just serious and I didn't want to complicate things with us..Kirsten told me as I stood up",

So you rather lie to me and keep the truth from me than be honest. I understand,kirsten. I understand completely. We'll talk about this in the morning..I told her as I walked away, Out onto the patio and into the darkness to the poolhouse showing myself inside, Ryan was sitting on his bed, shocked to see me.

"Kirsten",he asked".

I knodded, saying "Yeah"..

Marissa"..? I asked..He knodded in return as we both sat down side by side enjoying the company for the night and giving the girls especially Kirsten some time to think about why she'd had to lie".

the nighttime hit and sleep came giving me time to think as well as the night drifted into morning and I was sure things would work out, they had to. I'd known about the baby. but it was the fact that she'd lied to me that had irriated me. but our love was strong.. we could get passed anything.

--End of Sandy's point of view--


	5. Chapter 5

Ch.5 Winners and Losers

--Buffy's Point of view--

Everything had been silent since dad had come, mom was actually treating him like he belonged. I knew they were freinds even though they were divorced. She'd told me that we needed him and that he was our only shot to win this so I tried to give him a chance but I couldn't, although he could do whatever he wanted. I just didn't care anymore.

I knew that things weren't going to end well, it was just this feeling in the pit of my stomache that told me that these people were powerful and rich and even the best lawyer we could afford wouldn't stop them from taking what they wanted..Which was me.

But I played the game and acted as if I believed we'd win just to make mom feel better, I knew she wanted to believe that but like me just believed only the worst and didn't want to believe that they'd win but deep down even she knew that My bags were as good as packed.

But I ignored what was going on as much as I could and decided to spend the day at the expresso pump with Willow and Xander, I had to somehow get what was going on out of my mind, if that was possible.

I then decided on it, I didn't want to be in this house and stuck with these people, Dad and his friend talking about wich way to fight this case, what they'd do to keep me here and what wouldn't work and what would, his friend,Charles Gunn didn't seem too optimistic about their side of the case, "said that he was a friend and all but our case was weak, he'd told mom that irregardless of how good of a parent she was and how I I'd grown up in a nice neighborhood and was well adjusted for a girl my age that the judges would pull things up that would make my real parents stronger..I hadn't thought they would and mom was shocked even though she'd seemed to know that they'd do stuff like that..he'd also said that because they were my real parents and we had a bloodline that the judge would automatically favor them irregardless of the fact that they haven't been in my life until now..and the fact that their rich would play in their favor..he'd mentioned a man and said that he was my grandfather and that he'd already contacted the law firm, he basically owned the well known town of Newport Beach, and he didn't know what to say but he wasn't going to lie to us. I was already figuring on us losing and me having to leave even when my mother had assurred me that it wouldn't happen, that this lawyer would help us and succeed but what he was saying made alot of since and Xander liked Court-TV so I'd seen afew court shows, enough to know that people could be paid off and judges could be swayed by money and the fact of real parents and adoptive ones..they'd look at my life here and scoff, they'd look at our nice little home in Sunnydale as a joke and the school I went to with disgust, they'd know that I could have a more rich life with this family, I'd go to the best schools. wear the best clothes. but that was frivelous stuff, not to say that I didn't like money and clothes and stuff, but this was my home, I didn't even know these people.

I didn't even say goodbye, I headed out the door before they could even ask me where I was going, I wanted to go and find my friends before I wouldn't be able to be around them again, I wanted giles..I wanted willow and Xander to be at the court date, I wanted them with me no matter what happened because I was nervous, I feared that my suspicions were right and that these people would use their money to get me back even though they were the ones that had given me up in the first place..what would they really stick their noses into our business and make mom seem unfit? they couldn't, could they? I asked myself with fear", but I had to keep calm. and that guy who was my father, he seemed so nice..Harmless. Like a child,himself. he wouldn't do something like this..but how was I to know what he would do, we'd spent a day together.."A Day", that didn't prove anything..I thought heading in the direction for the expresso pump, I'd called the both of them earlier and said that I didn't want to be alone right now and they'd both agreed to meet me for an expresso, I didn't want to be there while mom and that lawyer were talking about how they were going to lose the case and this thing was doomed even before it began..I wanted to think more positively and consider that maybe I was wrong and mom was wrong for lying and she hadn't needed to worry about losing me, but everything about this told me that rich people won out over poor,middle class people. We'd lived in L.A. afterall, we'd had money then because dad was a lawyer but it was nothing like what these people had, they'd laugh and look at our house in L.A. as a joke..but I'd known people that went to prep schools, there had been rich families in our neighborhood but most of them I hadn't liked and they hadn't liked me, they got everything they wanted by throwing money to the wind, no matter what they'd done, they'd pay somebody and the problem would be gone..mom didn't want to believe that would happen now but she was niave, she was losing me so in the long run, maybe she had the right to keep it from me, I didn't want to believe that because I felt betrayed, even now. but in a way she'd been right about what she'd said, the moment the truth was out, these people were back and now they wanted to take me away like she'd feared, but she'd been talking to this guy long before I'd known about the truth, It would've come out eventually..I told myself not wanting to believe that it was me being nosy that was why everything was going badly lately".

I wanted to go to school but mom and Mr. Charles Gunn didn't think that it was a good idea, they'd said that it would be a harder transition for whatever happened", I could tell he didn't look for us to win, his attitude told me that..but he'd said that the court date

Could be just acouple months..maybe a year..or it could be a week or acouple of days from now..I didn't want to think about it, I hope it took months or years and they lost because I was scared and I didn't know what I wanted and I didn't know these people.

I couldn't stop thinking about it although I tried to smile as I walked up the steps and inside the Expresso pump seeing willow and Xander sitting in a mahogany table, they'd already ordered expressos, even for me and they smiled, willow got up and hugged me, I felt the warmth of her touch, how she genuinely missed me around and I was glad to have her, even if it was just for now. she was my best friend in the world. and I was scared and wanted alittle normalcy for once, but for the first time it wasn't the slayer that got in my way, I didn't know whether to be grateful for that or upset, thinking that somehow my ranting about being the chosen one granted me to be punished this way, giles had told me "No", saying that he'd understood my ranting and that this wasn't a punishment, it was just something that happened and that he was very sorry. I understood that he was too british to hug me or console me like Xander and willow could but it was nice that he attempted to.

i'm so glad you called me this morning", Buffy..I've missed you. We both have. I called your house yesterday and your mother wouldn't let me talk to you. she siad that she was very fond of me and Xander but that there was alot of heavy stuff going on and that you wouldn't be coming out anymore? does she know your here. because she talked like we weren't gonna see you again..Willow admitted as I sat down acrossed from her and Xander".

"I doubt mom could make me not see my friends", she didn't even tell me that you called. I guess she doesn't wanna share me right now. alot is going on, I may not even be staying here in Sunnydale..With her. there's a hearing and stuff and my real parents want to have full custody of me or whatever. we got a lawyer and he doesn't seem too confident that we're gonna win and instead of leading the path of pain, I decided to get out for a while. whenever I talk to mom, she just lies to me saying that he's wrong and that we're gonna win. I have a feeling that we aren't. I met my real father. he did seem nice. but he didn't seem like the kind of person that would do all of this. "I don't understand"..I began as Xander who'd been quiet up until now knodded his head understandingly".

"But you don't know him", buff. you just met him. and he isn't the only one is he? you talked on the phone like you had a whole family coming for you..if that's so. maybe he isn't the one to blame. but you don't know the guy, first impressions aren't everything..Xander told me as I smiled knodding my head as I took a sip of my hot,Expresso enjoying the taste and glad that my friends weren't ignoring the subject and were trying to comfort me in some way".

"How many people are we talking about", willow uttered staring from the muffin in front of her to me, she'd been interested in the law and had signed up for afew classes this year and was curious if I would really have to leave".

"I don't know", I know I have a mother and I met my father.. this morning the lawyer mentioned something about a grandfather. he said he's like the richest man in Some newport beach. I"ve never heard of the place. but I know he's really wealthy by the way they kept talking about it. I began as Xander seemed impressed, willow was annoyed as if she saw why I was so nerverous about this".

"Newport Beach", it's a nice simple beachtown. I have acouple of relatives there but it's a rich community. my Uncle Rory lives in the poor side of town. I've visited acouple of times before my parents became drunk, I was really young then,though. Xander began as his eyes lit up with excitement as he had finished his muffin and was begging willow for hers. I just nibbled on mine not really hungry but wanting to hear all of the advice they had for me, I didn't know that Xander would have relatives there. and I didn't like the fact of it being a rich community..it wasn't that I had anything against rich people, especially if I was going to be one of them. but I wasn't rich. I'd been raised middle class and even though I'd love the thought of having money all of the time, even being a rich snob..but it would be like sticking a white girl in a room full of a bunch of black people, I hadn't been raised the same way.."would I fit in"? I thought alittle nervous, even more so now realizing just how much of a rich community this was".

"I wish I could be carried off to a rich community and live in a rich home", my Uncle Rory is a drunk and lives out of trailer about a block from the peir. Not really living the like leasure..If you know what I mean. but I know it sucks being taken from your mom. I'm sorry about that. I know you look at her as your mother. but maybe this isn't a bad thing..Xander began as I was shocked that he was thinking It was good that I'd be taken from the only family I'd known".

"Xander", Since when did you become such a snob. I love money. but this is more than just gaining money..I don't know these people. their my real family but I don't know them. I shouldn't be made to leave but nobody cares about what my thoughts are on this..I want to stay where I am, I could care less about money and glamour right now, not that I wouldn't be thrilled to go to the mall and do nothing but shop and never run out of money, but that's a different world to me, I was raised a simple girl , not rich but not poor. rushing into a world like that. You don't get it. you don't just not have money one second and then get money and act as if you always had it. their lives are probably different..I think I'm just going to take a walk and all..I'll see you guys later. Moms' probably worried. she doesn't want me out of her sight, she knows what I know. We'll probably lose. which means I'll lose my home..and I'll lose my friends too. I said as I could tell that Xander felt bad for being alittle petty".

"I'm sorry",buffy. I guess it's all of the time I've been Spending with Cordelia.."She can rub off on you like no one else can"! Xander claimed as I smiled to myself".

"I understand", I just really have to be getting back. I hadn't thought that she'd keep me from you guys, and things are happening so fast. I think it's best that I do go home. but I'll call you. I'll tell her that I'm not pretending I don't have friends just because alot is going on and irregardless of what you think is going to happen, I want you at the cour hearing. Either to see me off or celebrate with me..I have to have someone their on my side, a friend, I mean. I said as they both knodded their head promising they'd be there as I turned away and walked home, it was a long walk because I really didn't want to go home, I was enjoying the fresh breeze and worrying about everything that could go wrong with this trial.

I'd walked so slow it had started to get dark but I didn't seem to care or even want to go home, I'd walked slowly as I felt angel walking beside me, we weren't a couple or anything. As soon as I'd found out he was a vampire, the thrill had been gone. I knew he was a good vampire and that he had a soul and everything but he was still a vampire and I wanted a simple relationship, if a relationship at all. everything was so complicated..leaving L.A., leaving henry. having Sneider, the new principal on my case all of the time because of what had happened in the gymnasium at my old school and being the slayer, I didn't have time for a relatiionship..and Now This! My life was too full of surprises so I'd excepted Angel as a friend and he was a good friend, even though sometimes he got speechy and annoyed me, but I knew he could be trusted, unless he went evil like he said he could go if he got one moment of pure bliss. but he seemed convinced that there was nothing to be done that he couldn't control and that he was sure things were good in that erea. but he hadn't known about what was going on, he thought I was out patrolling or whatever..

"So", Patrolling"? I haven't seen anything tonight so I think it's safe for you to go home"? he asked stopping to look at me, his dark penetrating brown eyes staring into me like he could read my mind and know that I wasn't patrolling afterall", I hated it when he did

that, alittle too intuitive for me but I knew he was a good guy and he was just concerned most of the time.

"Wait"..You're not patrolling. "What's going on Buffy", your not acting like yourself"? Angel asked me as I then too stopped noticing that it was even darker than it had been among mnutes ago when I'd first noticed the clouds go under and nighttime set in but I hadn't realized that it was pitch dark until right now at this moment with Angel.

"No", I'm not. I guess Willow and Xander didn't tell you. I"m not a Summers Afterall..My mother isn't really my mother. she adopted me and my real parents are trying to get me back. So I might be leaving Sunnydale"..I began as I heard how silent it was, most people were in their houses and fast asleep, I just knew mom was pacing around waiting for me..maybe even mad that I'd stayed out so long".

He seem flustered, alittle shocked and unnerved letting his arms slide to his side as he was dressed all in black, he blended into the night as if he were a dream as well, just a figment of my imagination. ofcourse, I knew that wasn't true.

"Okay", then what are you"..your last name", I mean..He asked somewhat snoopy on the subject as he realized he was right and I hadn't been patrolling, he was so close to me that I could feel his black leather jacket brush against my arm softly, as I was awakened and realized that mom would be freaking about now if I didn't show up soon, maybe when I got home she'd asleep and I wouldn't have to hear it, not that I would anyway. she had no right to yell at me. I was being dragged through all of this and everyone just expected me to get it, like it was no big deal. "They should know better", I thought".

Cooper..Or A cohen. I think both. this lawyer said that my grandfathers' name is some uhh..."Caleb Nichol", and he owns this town by the beach or whatever. I wasn't really paying much attention. I just needed some fresh air. I explained seeing his eyes revealed that he felt bad for me and that he'd be there for me as long as I needed him".

"Caleb Nickel", I know that name. I just can't place it. Sound Familiar", he gestured with cocky expression on his face as he then turned back to me", Anyway. you know where I am if you need to talk. I'm not just here to talk about the end of the world and demons..I'm sorry. I really am..he told me his eyes getting darker with concern and understanding as I knodded my head and he made it his goal for the night to walk me home, even though I'd told him that I could get there on my own, he'd said that he didn't like walking home in this state of mind , that vampires could take Advantage of that and catch me when I wasn't ready for them.

I'd accepted even though I'd wanted to be alone and he'd walked me back to the house in silence as I was glad he cared that much. and he knew somehow that I was worried, even scared about this because he was just there, he didn't make me mad by talking about it or act like it was a good thing even though xander had apologized..he just was there.

At the door I turned to him, thanking him silently as he just knodded his head with a sweet, yet cocky grin.

"I'll be around", Not like I'm goin' anywhere..he said as if it was some sort of joke due to him being a vampire but I wasn't in the mood to laugh", I just knodded my head silently, making my way into the house, leaving him out in the darkness where it seemed that Angel was the most comfortable being.

I had lucked out, mom had fell asleep on the couch and dad was next to her, after our arguement acouple of days ago he hadn't said nothing and he still stayed silent watching some latenight show on the t.v., I was tired and made my way upstairs to my bedroom, stepping in I knew that it would only be a matter of time before there was a date set, before my days were numbered living in Sunnydale and I knew that it would hurt mom the most, she actually thought that we'd win. " I wanted to stay", but like Angel said", the world wasn't always the way you thought it should be, some things happen and you think it's the most terrible thing in the world and then there's some good and it makes you happy even though you've lost so much..he said that it was a sign that life existed and the world hadn't gone away. he meant well, but sometimes his speeches got alittle too much. but i"d went to bed thinking about what he'd said, maybe in some warped kind of way, Angel was right.

I didn't want to believe that Angel could be right, that this was a good thing that I was being seperated from the only parents I'd ever known but I couldn't believe that, if I was forced to leave I'd get used to it eventually, everyone did that same thing with change, but I don't know if I'd be happy about it, I was mad at mom and dad, but to me they were still my parents, even though I'd told him that I'd call him by hank, I still looked at him as Dad. and my real father seemed nice, but if he was making me go through all of this, I don't know if I like him..but then again I had to think about what Xander had said, if I have other family members that want me and are trying to get me taken away from this place..maybe he truly was a nice guy. I didn't know what I was supposed to believe right now..Was I supposed to be afraid or curious. Was I supposed to be mad or happy? I knew I couldn't be happy. I had alot here. more than I ever believed I could have. I had friends and giles and I were getting closer, I trusted him more than I had the first time I met him my frist day of school at Sunnydale High..and I had a job. A destiny. it was the only thing that remained the same, I felt like I had to hold onto that tightly even though I'd wished away several times before..but things were normal and safe here, I knew where I belonged and I loved money, who didn't. but I hadn't grown up in that world..I wasn't stupid. Being the slayer had taught me several things but one of the most beneficial things was that with everything there was a price, you had sacrifice so much of yourself to get anything and it was the same with this, maybe that's what Angel was saying. I didn't sleep much that night, I tossed and turned,mostly. thinking about what would really happen if we lost, I believed that we might but I hadn't quite thought of the impact it would have on me, I'd been too busy pondering what it would do to mom. she was hoping that this would go well and that I'd be able to stay here like I've been doing, I'd thought of how it would effect her and not how it was going to effect me if it came to that, maybe I was stupid..No, that wasn't stupid. it was just niave,I've been doing so much thinking about her because of the story she told me of why she'd lied, how she'd kept running away from the fact that I wasn't her child, not really. that Iooked like this other woman, and the things I liked, the things I did. some of the things I said weren't at all like her, I knew I said I wouldn't forgive her because I felt pity for what she'd been through but I couldn't help it, she'd been through alot, always running to protect me, to keep us a family, so afraid that one day they would come and take me away like now..a part of me wanted to feel sorry for her and think about her above me, but another part of me wanted to hate her, be angry with her still because she'd been the adult, she'd known when she'd adopted me that I wasn't hers and that alot of cases the legal family comes back to claim or could come back to claim their child, if she knew and she did it anyway..Maybe I shouldn't pity her. but a part of me said that she couldn't have kids and maybe it was her only option but I'd read of things that could be done other than adoption. maybe it was time I started to think of me. it made me mad that she was telling my friends to stay away from me as if it truly was the end or she wanted me just for herself, they were my friends, the one reason I would stay back, the reason I want to be here. there was so many lies in this house, coming from the both of them. the only people who hadn't lied were my friends..Willow..Xander..Even Giles..I knew I could trust them. but alot had happened to make me doubt the people I called mom and dad".

I sat up, I could tell that the first light was just coming up, I could hear mom fighting with dad downstairs and again, it was about me.

"Damnit Joyce", Don't you see?! We're losing her. Just like you warned me..they've come in and now we're going to lose her and your still acting like you think we're going to win this trial. I'm a lawyer..and my friend isn't sugar coating anything, I told him not to and that I wanted to know what chances we had, if you lie to people and then you go to court and lose it's not being truthful, I want to know our chances and he told us tonight. he said that there's more of a chance that we'll lose her than a chance that they'll let her stay..I heard him shout at mom, I didn't like him to talk to her that, she was being hopeful, here I was, standing for her again..Standing up for her after she'd lied to me,but to me she was my mom. that didn't change just because you learned you were adopted,did it? she'd raised me..she'd been there through everything,so in a way, that was what mattered to me,but I was curious about my real family..in a way it was out of spite because she'd hurt me and she'd been family. nothing seemed to make any sense lately, not even the two of them.

"Hank", what do you expect me to do",Give up. Do you expect me to really throw my hands up into the air and say that I'm giving up on my daughter.."Yes", my daughter. this woman may have given her life and raised her for two months because she wasn't sure, but she gave her up, that's the important thing. I've been her mother for fifteen years, all of that doesn't just change because the truth comes out. and I thought that what Mr. Gunn said about sitting down and coming to a deal with those people was good idea, maybe they'll change their minds and realize that Buffy is happy here..Happy and adjusted and they'll decide not to uproot her and just have it where they could see her, I could deal with that..I heard her call out, I liked her idea but I wasn't sure if it would work"."Are you nuts"? it's a good idea on pen and paper but do you really think there just going to decide to leave her with you..We're not rich people,Joyce. and this may come down to money, I'm not saying that it will but it could. this man is wealthy, he has alot of sway and his opnion means something to alot of people..I'm not saying that all rich people are snobs and use their money to get what they want, but people that have the kind of money her legal grandfather has don't sit around and wait for judges and lawyers to take pity on them, I've been a lawyer long enough to know this, he'll use his money and his importance in every way that he can until it works, he might bring up stuff in the past to make you look like an unfit parent, and the fact we're not swimming in wealth isn't going to help us. we have to rely on a other people to give her a free ride,we're not poor but we're not rich, we're normal middle class people and you better believe that there going to bring up the kind of life they could give her opposed to the kind of life they could give her and then there's the fact there her biological parents and we're not. I want this to work as much as you do but I trust the law and what my friend tells me..this isn't going to be an easy case. but I most certainly am not telling you to give up, I'm telling you what to expect and I think we should go to this meeting, maybe we won't accomplish anything, but maybe we will. we're not meeting with this grandfather, we'll be meeting the parents and buffy tells me that she met her father and that he seemed nice, understanding,even..maybe we can find a way to manipulate him into leaving buffy with us. just don't lose hope but don't be blind to what could happen..I heard him tell her, it was the same thing I'd wanted to say to her before but I didn't want to hurt her, but I hadn't thought of what it would be like for me until just now I was so worried about her..but now, sitting next to the vent overhearing their conversation, it was becoming real to me.


	6. Chapter 6

--Joyces' Point of View--

I couldn't believe I was sitting here in a office alone, buffy's real family hadn't joined me yet. but neither had Hank. I couldn't believe him. not that he was a bad man, he was a very good man. he'd been a great father to buffy and a wonderful husband up until the divorce but this was reminicent of the way it used to be before the divorce when he'd never shown up anywhere when he said he would and I was left waiting, wondering where he was. but this was different. before it was dates and parties. stuff he was expected to do to keep our marriage alive, but now this was even more important, it wasn't about me. it was about buffy. how could he not show up for her. did he think we'd fail so badly he wasn't even going to show up. sometimes I could just wash my hands of him. I didn't want to believe we might lose, but in that instance I knew he was right. they were rich and we were middleclass people, but I wasn't giving up. he shouldn't either. I hated this. Why did he have to do this now. what would they think if he didn't show up. how could he just bail. but I had a plan,I wasn't married to him and we didn't live together, no matter what they thought, I'd play it as if Hank Summers didn't exist.Before I knew it a man with two other people, what seemed a couple yet not came in, I recognized the guy as Jimmy, he was buffy's real father. her mother looked different yet I shuddered to think how buffy had grown to look like her, even with straight,long hair and the looks on her face..but the guy who had brought them in I figured was of no relation, I was wrong. they'd somehow wavered him being in the family because he was a district attourney and would be buffys' stepfather. he seemed nice. Friendly even. with a wide smile on his face. he smiled at everyone except the woman I soon learned her name Kirsten, buffys' mother. My hands began to tremble alittle, I didn't know what to say or do. I wanted to tell them to reconsider. That buffy belonged with the parents who had raised her and not with strangers' but they were taking the time of meeting with me to hear what we both had to say about this, so I couldn't be rude. I couldn't just assume that these were bad people just because they were taking her away from me, even though I very much wanted to hate them. but I couldn't hate anybody as much as I hated hank at this moment, for putting me in this position.

I'm Sandy Cohen", they kind of wavered allowing me to do this because I am family. I hope we didn't take too long. Please, don't be nervous or stressed. I hope we can make some kind of agreement in this way. going to court seems so much harsher. Like something my father in law would do..Sandy ushered his comment from me to the blonde sitting acrossed the table". Sandy",could we not talk about my father. We're here to reach an agreement?, You've met Jimmy,I assume? Kirsten asked looking at me". Yes", I knodded my head forcing a smile even though I felt like I would explode if somebody didn't propose something to agree on and quick".Mrs. Summers, what do you think we should make a deal on? We'll listen to whatever you have to say and consider it and try to come to a deal. I hate these kinds of things. they can get so ugly. he said ugly as he looked at the kirsten, I was beginning to wander if they were married and she and buffy's real father weren't.

Buffy's lived most of her life with me, I think uprooting her and taking her away from here and her friends would be cruel,she's got a life here now and things are good for her and you guys want to come in and take her away as if you didn't put her up for adoption and now that she knows things have been really bad..She doesn't know you..I think she should stay with me and you should see her as much as you want. but it isn't right taking her away like this. I'm the only mother she's ever known. "Don't think tis is heartless to just come in and take over after fifteen years"? I demanded not realizing that I'd said everything I'd said I wouldn't say, everything that could make them mad and set them off, but I couldn't help it. they were destroying my life, taking away the only thing I had left. I was divorced and it was just me and buffy. She was all I had. Didn't they see that? I wondered".

"You mean that's the deal"? just back off and just visit like some Aunt that lives far away..She's my daughter. Whether or not I gave her up isn't the point. you've never met my father. alot was going on when I got pregnant. I thought that I was in love but everything was wrong,I wanted to go to college..but when I found out I was pregnant I was happy, I was willing to give up college because it was me and jimmy..and I loved him. we were high school sweethearts,you know..but my father found out about the pregnancy. he got really mad, like it was some scheme to bring him down and everything he'd worked for would be ruined,he even brought my mother up, and he got his way, or he thought. he told me",Get rid of it",Point blank..I was afraid of my father. he was so powerful and I was just a kid and I didn't know what I wanted..he told me to get rid of her and meant an abortion. i betrayed him, I coudln't go through with it. I didn't believe in it. it's no different than killing a person..So I put her up for adoption to months after she was born, I stayed with her one of my fathers' model homes that he'd built,and I knew I couldn't hide out there forever,he'd find out what I'd done eventually, so I went through with it, I gave her up because I had to. and I went to college as I was told..I went to berkeley and I met Sandy..I never wanted to go into that again,I never wanted to think about what I'd done because I had wanted her..and I couldn't tell jimmy because my father forbid it but there was no excuse for keeping it from him this long. everyone has secrets. I don't want you to think that I'm some lowlife mother who gave up her baby because she was so spoiled she couldn't raise her on her own. I wanted her, I did. but you don't know my father. But I do want her now and you can't just say that I get visitations, this isn't a deal, everyone don't win. you fixed it so she stays with you..Kirsten began as I didn't know what to say, her story did make me feel bad, her father sounded like a peice of work but she'd still given her up and buffy was mine, why was this happening", I hated this".

"That's Cal for you", Maybe tonight I won't sleep in the poolhouse with ryan afterall"..Sandy began to his wife as Kirsten stood up", No deal. I"m sorry but I can't just be a visitor in my daughters life..I won't. I know it's alittle late to come back wanting her after fifteen years but she's still my daughter and I want to know her. my father can't make me do anything now and if you won't make a deal the way it's supposed to be with her living with us and you seeing her on a fixed schedule then we're going to court, I know my father was planning on taking you to court anyway, this was a last resort..I don't like the way this has to be, us going to court,and I know what you must think of us..but she belongs with her real family..It was nice that you took care of her the last few years..but she is my daughter. Kirsten concluded passing Sandy as Jimmy stayed".

"I..I didn't want to hurt anybody", this wasn't supposed to go to court..Caleb tricked me..Jimmy said outloud as I was confused although I'd heard the name recently and knew who he was, maybe these people were just as afraid and meak as I was right now, I could tell that she hadn't wanted to do this but she wanted to know her daughter, and he didn't want to hurt anybody. and Sandy,he seemed as if he understood all of the talk about his father in law. as if it made perfect since that he'd do this stuff.

"Tricking people into thinks Caleb does well",I'll make sure this is handled discreetly. although with Cal on the case. I don't know if I can. he told me as I understood that they were just trying to do what was right but I was,too. I just couldn't lose her..I couldn't.

--end of joyces' Point of view--

--Kirstens' Point of view--

I did feel sorry for her, she'd raised my daughter as her own. she excepted herself as her mother and now she was going to lose her but how could I just sign her away as if I didn't care, now that I could do something about it I wanted her, before I had wanted her but I was too young to have power over my fathers' say so, Hailey even had rather runaway than face him, that's why she was never around, but he didn't like to admit to those ugly realities, as he called them.

I was glad that Sandy had heard what I said and that I was sorry for not telling Jimmy when I had the chance and not telling him the truth, it was something I didn't like to think about, I'd wanted to track her down and take her back but I'd never known how and my father wouldn't help me, he was the very person who tried to get rid of her in the first place and Sandy,I didn't think he would help, why would he help me find a child that wasn't his..so i let it go and was satisfied with Seth..and then Ryan came and I felt even more fullfilled, but I still longed for that daughter I'd lost to another family. and now that I had the chance, I couldn't back down. I hoped this woman could understand, a part of me dispised her, she was trying to keep this daughter from me, she was mine and she didn't think I had the right to have her in my home..in a way, I wanted to tear her down much in the way dad spoke of but in a way, I felt sorry for her. I knew that with dad in charge of this case, we wouldn't lose. and she would. I knew that Sandy wasn't thrilled with the way I'd handled myself, afew sudden looks in the car and in the hotel had given me that impression, he'd thought that I could've made a better deal and that maybe things would've have to get ugly. but I couldn't be some outsider to my daughter, I knew sandy was thinking it but "I was an outsider now". So was Jimmy.

--End of Kirstens' point of view--

--Buffy's Point of View--

I had just gotten back from training with giles, not that i needed to train or anything because I knew I could be leaving and I might never have to slay another vampire again, but it got my mind off of what was going on, it was giles who had suggested it, he'd said that sometimes it was best to get your mind off of thoughts that are bugging you. he had some good ideas, but now that I was alone again and wasn't fighting or patrolling and mom wasn't around, it was back to my dreary thoughts of how it would be if we lost, not for mom so much now, but how it would be for me. in a way, I was scared..something being the slayer it had been rare for me to be afraid of anything because I was so powerful.

I stepped into the kitchen as I noticed a letter with some white roses on the counter, before I'd even saw what the note read I knew it was from dad. he'd bailed on us yet again and this was his way of making it right, I wander if mom knew. Where was she anyway? I wondered", she'd been very to herself since they'd had that arguement last night and I wandered if they were fighting, I hoped they weren't fighting about me.

I wanted to find him and tell him what I thought of him right now, he was afraid or they'd gotten into a fight so he left. maybe it wasn't even about that, maybe he just had better things to do, I didn't care. I was sick and tired of getting left behind by a man who truly wasn't even my father..Atleast mom played the role of a real mother, that was more than I could say for him.

but I grabbed hold of the note, a part of me didn't even want to read it but some part of me decided that maybe I should, I now knew that the basket and flowers..even the note were for me..there wasn't nothing here for mom. how could he just leave her without a note, but then again I forgot, I was the reason he was here. he and mom were divorced. he didn't owe her anything. but I still believed that they were doing business together so they did owe eachother something if one of them decided to leave. how insensitive could he be? I wondered as I opened up the baby and began to read.

Buffy,

I'm so sorry I've been in and out of your life. I know your not mine. Not really and I know what the answer is going to be to this meeting your mother wanted us to go to, I know that her idea is going to be laughed at, nobody is going to take her seriously and agree with her and I'm sorry, I can't take sitting there and watching you being taken away. When you're older, you'll understand. Tell your mother that I'm sorry and that I'll be in touch and that Mr. Gunn will still be at your disposal to help you, but I can't be there and see you slip away from us..I'm sorry. the candy is for you, the flowers are for your mother. Enjoy..I read the letter..I wadded it up in a blind rage throwing the paper in the trash but I wasn't going to let good candy and flowers go to waste, it didn't matter how mad I was at him. he always had to runaway from his problems like that made the difference. I guess I still called him dad, because to me he always had been but I didn't like the way he ranaway and how he left mom holding everything, she'd stayed. I was supposed to respect her more..I knew that.

I could hear the door slam, some swears under her breath, ofcourse she didn't think I was in the room until she saw me standing by a basket of flowers and candy, her eyes seemed to bulge and anger even more as she saw it, but she softened as she looked at me, I knew she wanted to sugarcoat everything around me now, she didn't want me to see that she was mad, and that she felt helpless, even that the meeting dad had spoke of had went badly. she tried to hide it all, but I could read her and I knew that things weren't good, not for her..not for me. Not for anybody.

"What did",He", Have to say? she phrased in such a cold manner trying not to sound too angry for my sake but she couldn't help it, she'd been hurt and he'd left her at this meeting with no warning that he wasn't going to show, what kind of person did that? I thought to myself".

"he just set that he couldn't deal and that you were better at this sort of thing", he thinks we're going to lose. That's why he left. I stated bluntly as she rolled her eyes", that's typical hank", when the chips are down..he's gone. and we're not going to lose. things may seem bad right now but we're summers' girls..We can deal with this and anything the world has to throw at us..You'll see. she tried to convince me, I knew it was a lie but I couldn't have her lie to me anymore, we had to deal and she couldn't be trying to convince me all of the time like I was a niave five year old, that things would work out, I had a feeling deep in my stomache that dad was right, but I wasn't ready to admit it, not yet.

"Mom", you don't need to keep trying to convince the both of us that we're going to win because I know you have doubts, I see it in your eyes. like how your angry at him right now and your trying to not be for me. I know the meeting went badly and no one agreed with you and I know your scared and your trying to convince me that we'll win. but we have to be prepared. What if we don't win? what If I have to leave and am not able to see you again. Dad was right about one thing and that's the fact that these people are beyond rich and the rich usually gets there way, or atleast people that have the kind of money he was talking about and there going to throw stuff up in our faces..Who knows what could come up..We don't have the better part of the case, there's more chance for us to lose than win. I've heard what Mr. Gunn said even though I wasn't here for all of it..I know that there is a better chance that this is the end of this and I'll be leaving here. that's why I want willow and Xander at the trial, to be there to support me, their my best friends, you know. and angel made me think about things I hadn't thought about..oh, that's right. you don't know angel. he was tutoring me. but sometimes he gives good advice. we just have to think clearly and not be so negative. but mom, we can't be completely blind to what is going on either. you have to know that there's a chance we could lose..I explained and it didn't seem like she took in anything I said, it was almost as if I hadn't spoke at all.

"It's going to be alright buffy", we're going to win. We can't lose..We can't..she quipped as she dissapeared into the other room, I could hear the rage in her voice, i knew she was about on the brink of tears, but she had to understand..Had I been wrong to say something like that, was I just as bad as he was? NO, I wasn't. he'd ranaway. I was being forward. I'd only said the truth.

the phone suddenly rang and I could hear moms' voice.

"Okay"..I understand..Wednesday. I still can't believe this is happening. "She's still my daughter"..I could hear hear mumbling in clips as the silence took in, they'd issued a date for the trial and mom was doing alot of arguing with people on the phone..I didn't understand it and a part of me for the first time was beginning to see this as more to me and not just mom. something more serious that I hadn't thought of was happening in that phone conversation..They were going to take me away, not to put me with my real parents, but strangers..Strangers until a decision could be made at the trial. this just might be the last time I saw or spoke to mom..I thought with bitter tears sliding down my face.


	7. Chapter 7

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, what mom was telling me was a nightmare. cops were on there way, the state was taking me away from this house, like now I truly didn't belong here and no matter what I would be seperated from the only mother I'd ever known. she cried, swore. I could see the crimson of her cheaks and the tears that poured down her face but for once since I'd learned I wasn't thinking about her,I was afraid. I didn't want to leave. I felt a knowing sense that I'd see her at the court but it might be the last time we crossed paths, these people would win and they'd take me away. but why couldn't I spend the last few weeks with her. why did I have to stay in some special foster home with other kids and people I didn't know. i wasn't. I'd runaway I finally decided. I'd run to giles. To Angel. he wouldn't let them take me. Yes, that's what I'd do. I agreed rushing out the door before mom or a cop car full of police could take me away. they'd never know I was with angel. Never.

--Sandys' Point of View--

I sat in a billiard acrossed town with my father in law, we'd played a pretty good game of pool so far, he'd wanted me to discuss a business venture that had to do with this case, it had to do with kirsten getting her daughter back, he seemed proud of himself, I'd needed to get out for a while, Away from Jimmy and Kirstens' worries and the fact taht this was a very big deal and I had but spending the acouple of hours with Cal wasn't my idea of a fun time, but he'd said that it was important and he was kirsten's father, so I'd agreed to atleast discuss what he had to say.

I watched as he beamed, a proud smile.

"Sandford", I think I might've outdone myself"..Caleb uttered proudly as I knew something was up, with Caleb, when he was this proud it usually meant that he had done something and when Caleb Nickel took action, especially in these circumstances, it wasn't always good.

'what did you do",Cal? I asked wanting to know not just for his grand-daughters' sake but for Kirstens' and mine as well".

That young lady is going to be supervised..you didn't think I'd have it where she sayed with "That woman", while this case was going on. I've got more class than that. Caleb told me as his cell phone rang as I could hear his conversation in clips from only his side..

"She what"? Ranaway..he urged",get a team out looking for her. Rest at no costs. Keep me posted. he uttered as he put his cell phone away turning his expression back to me, even more proud.

"Looks like Little Hailey ranaway", kids got spunk. she reminds me of Hailey..and I haven't even met her yet. Caleb urged getting an 8 in the hole with a smile as I was speechless", Caleb had taken her from that woman and tried to put her in foster care and now she'd ranaway..I couldn't believe him. Actually I could. I shouldn't expected anythng less from Caleb Nickel..I should've known better. I thought as I excused myself to go back to the hotel. I was disgusted by what he'd done.

--End of Sandys' Point of View--

--Angel's Point of View--

I'd had a long day, not that it was any longer than any other. but when your two hundred and fourty-seven years old, everyday is long. immortality wasn't always beautiful, even though people thought it was. I'd seen people through my entire existence, some tried to hide, to not exist at all believing that if they didn't look in the mirror, that their image would disintigrate and they truly wouldn't exist at all, and then I'd seen people. Tons of people really who believed that if only they could be young and beautiful forever, all of their lifes' problems would be answered and all of there dreams and ambitions would come to light. I thought they were fools. People didn't really know what they were asking for with this whole immortal thing, it wasn't a prize..something you won and were proud of, it was a curse. I could speak whole heartedly on curses, not just because I was immortal, but I'd been cursed, but I'd rather be what I am now than what I was before, A soulless,evil vampire. no different than Spike and Drusilla..Even Darla. that's what they didn't understand, I no longer cursed myself for being what I was, I was a part of humanity, and that was more than I could say for alot of people, or well,vampires I used to run with. I was a part of the solution, I'd learned that they were a part of the problem. they were, not meaning to be too pun-having but, they were why people like me "Fight".

I'd never understood the need to be young and strong forever, but then again I don't really remember what it's like to be human. to be alive. To have a future other than my destiny to make amends, maybe that was why. but people didn't see things the way I did, they would never see it from the inside and if they did, they'd wish they'd never have wanted that in the first place, not to say immortality didn't have it's perks,but the cons outweighed the pros by a ton..if people knew that it wouldn't intrigue them so.

I'd been laying back in my bed in the nice mansion I'd found in Sunnydale, I did this every night. Just laid back and thought about things..Everything,Actually. it was my time when I was brooding and I could look straight on at the things I'd done, some as Angel..but alot as angelus, that I couldn't let go of even though it was the demon inside. At times thinking it through and doing the better thing,I wandered if it didn't make me a better person. I liked to believe it did. Even though nothing I did could ever compensate for the lives I took, the people I hurt. I just couldn't bring myself to understand why some people thought certain things were great and they'd give up their own existence for what I had and I had been through what they wished for and I only wished that I could have what they had. To be human and to know that there's something better, but in a way, I wandered if I wasn't better off knowing not just that there was something better for the people in the world, but not being blind to knowing that there was something, much , much worse.

Just then the door opened, although since it was still dark out no light poured in, just darkness and rain, it had been raining all night. I hated the rain. it reminded me of things that happened and were always bad, rain had always reminded me of tears, the tears of all of the victims I'd damned to hell, the tears that I couldn't escape. the rain was sorrowful. it reminded me of the way the world was and how the news spoke of only tragedy, but I planned to change what I could of that, I planned to make the world a respectable and good place but I wasn't niave in that since,I knew that it was highly doubtful. I couldn't fix everything or everybody..But there was no harm in trying.

i saw buffy standing there, her long dark blonde hair, wet, like a soaked rat. her clothes was pretty soaked as well. the greyhooded sweater with the label in Red Sunnydale Razorbacks red sweatpants that matched with black rubber going up them, I thought the outfit was tackie, looked like a road flare to me. nobody would miss her, even in the storm. why did teenagers' dress so brightly, as if they were trying to make a statement..that's when I had to laugh to myself", the old saying that vampires were attracted to bright colors..that was funny in itself. A vampire sees'ya,it doesn't matter what outfit you pick out, your on the dinner menu..Well unless its' me..I thought to myself, Stupid sayings..I muttered but buffy didn't hear me, I moved my eyes passed the ugly outfit I thought was too bright, it was so bright it burned my eyes..but moving on I saw the panicked expression on her face..I could tell that something had happened. the last time I'd seen her sh'ed told me that her real family were trying to force her out of sunnydale, she'd been panicked then, but now she was afraid, I hadn't known her long..Afew months really,and I knew she was person and everybody gets scared..But I figured that it was the slayer that made her strong, the slayer couldn't control this so she was weak..I got that.

"Does your mother know that your here"? was my first words and she was extremely upset once I said that,I clearly didn't understand why she was so mad, it was simple question, she didn't really visit me much at night, well atleast not this late. only when there was something to fight:there wasn't. So I was alittle disturbed but because of when we talked the other night, I was wise enough to realize that it wasn't about slaying. This was personal and I'd told her that I was here for her,I just didn't expect to see her so soon.

"That's what you say", Does she know"? Is that the first thing you ask when someone enters you're place.."Angel"?! she enquired as if it was a question and I didn't know what to say, I just ignored her inquiery and asked another question. "What happened"? I asked more direct as I sat up in bed, apparently my hour of brooding was through", but helping a friend was more important, it was my mission statement".

"Reality has set in", We're not going to win this..Buffy told me as she sat down on one of my leather chairs, all soaked, i knew she'd ruin the chair but I was less worried about the chair at the moment, I knew that she'd just runaway, I knew that running away only makes things worse, the people eventually find you. Apparently buffy didn't want to believe that. she found that running was better than staying to face the music..She'd found out eventually that running just complicates everything. but i couldn't be like that now, apparently there was more to this than she was Saying. After she'd told me about her problem I'd thought long and hard, and I'd recalled a man I'd come acrossed in England.."Caleb Nickel",was his name. he had acouple of condos built and through out a woman with two kids, ruined her. I'd helped her as much as I could, but she had nothing and I had nothing to give her, I wasn't actually a people person then, I did everything I could to avoid people, fearing that the beast, being angelus would win, but there had been nothing for me to do..I'd promised to help her somehow, but it was too late, the next time I saw her, it was at a crime scene, I'd hid underneath a tree, the shade protecting me from the suns' rays, I knew I hated that man when I'd heard her tell me what he'd done but it had been nothing compared to my first direct contact with him..he'd told me that he didn't get to where he was today by being stupid or niave..he seemed to know about me..my kind. he'd even seemed to pride himself for knowing about the curse.."he'd been proud of himself",Said that he won round one.."I told him that if I ever saw him again",I'd kill him. "He'd snickered and walked away as if he didn't believe me"..Ass"..I thought to myself..and this..this man was related to buffy. I truly felt sorry for her.

"You told me that I could come to you if I needed help and I need to stay here", I can't go back. the cops..things have gotten more complicated. the cops want to put me in some foster home..this man..my grandfather is behind it, it was his idea. I don't know him, but if this is any concept of what kind of person he is.."I don't like him"..she roared as tears slid down her cheaks, I slid into the seat next to her, pulling her into my arms, stroking her long, silky blonde hair, telling her that it was going to be alright..and that this man thought he'd won,I knew that it might win completely. in the real world he was a winner, there was nothing he couldn't control..he thought before that he'd seen the last of me", I thought. ofcourse.."Ofcourse Caleb Nickel would be behind this"..It's his M.O. I muttered but this time buffy overheard me", you know him? she enquired with curiosity".

She didn't talk much more,I didn't make her. I had gotten the gest and understood what had went down. they were in a custody battle and being the ass that Caleb nickel was, he decided to make it alittle harder for buffy to win. and to think I'd hoped never to see him again, he was no different than a demon or an evil mastermind, the moment you thought they were gone and innocence was safe..he popped right back, like a bad nightmare.

Soon she began to dose and I helped her to my bed, I didn't sleep much anyway, most nights I was too busy considering how I could make a difference,what I could do that would tell the world that a soul did matter and that I was going to make the biggest difference in the world, If It took til eternity, I'd find amends. I let her lay there, let her rest. I didn't want to give her up and tell her that she wasn't welcome to stay here, but I knew what happened if she stayed, even if it did work, what kind of life would she have here anyway? and I wasn't that niave to believe that she could escape, running away solved nothing and with a man like her grandfather tracking her down, he wouldn't likely give up..I thought with disgust thinking about the man I'd crossed paths with once before".

that night I sat up by the fire place, considering what I would do or say to buffy to prove to her that what she was doing was making more problems, not helping her. Right now she thought running away was her only alternative, she didn't realize that she couldn't hide away from this, these people would find her and they'd drag her away, she needed to give herself, to do what the cops told her to, it was the law afterall. if cops were involved, she should just go..I knew she wouldn't listen to me, she didn't want to believe that I was right, that all of my advice could be real and true, she wanted to believe that I just babbled on and thought I was right when the truth was that..I knew I was.

She didn't wake up til the next afternoon, she opened her eyes staring up at me, she was glad she'd come here and what had I done, I'd planned to tell her that I thought that she should leave, I didn't want to, I was thinking about what was best for buffy..In the long run. I knew that If I didn't or couldn't convince her to go and deal with this so she wasn't forced to I'd have to do something I didn't want to. I'd have to call the police and give away the location, I hated being put in the middle of things, this was why..there was no right or wrong here but buffy would be hurt and I didn't want to hurt her, but if she'd be hurt worse in the long run, I wasn't going to stand for that. maybe if she went willingly she'd be able to stay in Sunnydale, maybe if they saw that she was mature and more understanding because she was different, maybe her case would be dealt with differently, although I doubted it with this man ahead of things, but I knew that running didn't do anything. I'd ranaway, hid on the streets. fed off of rats..denied what I was for alittle over ninety years..and it didn't change anything, I woke up one morning and I realized that although I had a soul, I was still a vampire, I learned to do some good because of it..Running away from who I was didn't change that, it just made things worse. she needed to see that, if she couldn't. it was up to me to help her, I was thinking about the future, it would be worse if this thing was drawn out, she'd spend her entire life hiding herself..she wouldn't be like me, she wouldn't have to hide in the darkness and be ashamed of who she was. no matter what I had to do or how wrong she felt it was, I was doing it for her own good. someday she'd understand that, she'd put me in charge of her well being, she'd come to me wanting me to care for her and protect her, expecting me to lie to her when I knew she was doing the wrong thing.

But I knew I couldn't do that even though it was right and what she was doing was just prolonging the process, I had to tell her,to keep pushing her to leave,for herself, I couldn't double cross her. that would be something her grandfather would do, not something I would do. I couldn't just turn her over to them. even if I thought it was for the best. it had to be her decision, I knew that. I wander if she'd believe me and leave or if she'd fight me on this. I hoped she understood, running away wasn't the answer.


	8. Chapter 8

Ch.8 Gone without Goodbye

Two days had passed and I was nagging her constantly with warnings and speeches, telling her that she should go,I could tell that she was breaking but it was more because she didn't think I wanted her here,that had nothing to do with it. I had talked to willie about it, I trusted him. he was a good guy that ran a demon bar, he knew stuff and wouldn't tell any bit of information for a price..but what I hadn't known was he'd been beaten to a pulp to learn..and now spike knew about buffy..knew how to hurt me. and that was enough to make spike willing to do anything. it didn't matter that he wouldn't kill her, she was the slayer..to spike and most vampires, it was about hurting or destroying the slayer.

I could tell that she was getting annoyed with my constant speeches so I'd decided to get out for the night, to patrol, to meet with giles and discuss what I should do, I'd come to a brick wall and I didn't want to hurt her but I didn't think her hiding was a good idea. I'd trust giles' opinion.

--End of Angels' point of view--

--Buffys' Point of View--

Angel had left me alone, said he was going to go and patrol and for once I believed him, believed that he wasn't trying to betray me behind his back, I'd known he'd been to see willy but I didn't think much of it,I was so tired of worrying if they were onto me, if any moment the doors would burst open and cops would come in and carry me away, take me away from everybody I loved, I feared that if they did I'd never see my mom or any of my friends again, these people would win. Ofcourse they would. they were wealthy and they were legitimately my parents, end of story. But I'd calmed down enough to take a nap while angel had stepped out, I knew I was completely alone and a part of me was glad, his speeches were getting alittle too much, even though I knew that he was right about everything he'd said.

waking up I felt arms grabbing hold of me, men with uniforms on were restraining me as I felt myself fight them, I didn't want to go and with all of the power I had they couldn't make me, I was the slayer..Body and soul. they couldn't make me. but I'd learned. they could. I felt a siringe sink deeper into the flesh of my arm as I felt tired and weak, not as powerful as I had afew minutes ago..the hours seemed to drift as I was taken from the scene in angels' mansion, put into a squad car and taken away..Away..I was taken to a large brick building, not a foster home like I'd considered it being but a foster facility with three or four other kids and a woman that watched over them all, I was put in my room under orders that I wasn't supposed to have any visitors or be among the other students who were considered to be below me, they were poor kids, taken from bad situations..It didn't matter if I was a middle class girl my whole life, I'd been born in rich blood, so I was too good for these people. "I hated this man", i hadn't even met him yet and I hated him. I felt so alone. the only person I was allowed to see was my lawyer, Mr. Charles Gunn. the very lawyer I'd met when my father had brought him from L.A.

(Okay Guys, short breather:coming Soon--Summers vs. Caleb trial and buffy goes to Newport. BRB.


End file.
